How can English cricket rise again?

It seems likely Andy Flower will continue in his current role despite calls for his head. Photo: yorkshirepost.co.uk

Ben Pullan examines what went wrong for England during the recently concluded Ashes and looks at what options they may have to turn around their lacklustre form.

In years to come, 5 January 2014 will be viewed as one of the lowest points in England’s long association with Test Match Cricket. Fans of the game, looking back, will scarcely be able to believe that an team full of some of England’s most celebrated players ever managed to lose a series 5-0 against an Australian side whom they had beaten 3-0 only four months previously.

Indeed, after further investigation, they will probably think they are reading some sort of joke, written by an Aussie wag. They will see ridiculous margins of victory in every Test Match, and encounter seemingly stereotyped scenarios: the batsman who can’t take the pressure, has a breakdown and then runs off home; the formerly great bowler who decides he has no other option than to retire at a time when it could not be less convenient for the team; and a captain who is clueless.

On the other side of the coin, they will read about the outstanding performances of two 36-year-olds, deemed by many to be past their sell by date, achieving fairytale success; a batsman, who turned himself from being a left-hook-swinging laughing stock into a destroyer of England’s bowling; and a bowler, who came into the series as a joke, but left it as a legend.

Yes, there has been very little about this series that anyone would have expected. Though the Aussies had shown some signs of resurgence prior to the series, most expected an England win – or, if not, a closely fought series at the least. No one would have predicted what has happened here – that Australia have walked all over England in each of the five matches and have barely broken sweat.

Never has an England team ceded a series so easily; even the nadir of England cricket in recent times – the 5-0 whitewash of 2006/07 – saw England put up a fight in at least one of the Test Matches. And the worst thing about it is that in that series, the Australian side featured names such as Langer, Hayden, Ponting, Martyn, Hussey, Gilchrist, Warne, McGrath and Lee. The Australian side of 2013 / ‘14 were no such galácticos. Indeed, after being whitewashed themselves by India earlier this year, many were of the view that they were the worst Australian cricket team ever.

Ben Stokes is one of English cricket’s brightest young prospects. Photo: thejournal.co.uk

As for England, it’s impossible to see how any team can be beaten so categorically – by an Australian side that can hardly be described as world-beating – and not make changes. The question is how drastic these will be. In the moments after the conclusion of the Sydney Test, England team director Andy Flower conceded: “It does feel like the end of some type of era and there will be some sort of new start.” Though many feel that the best way to begin this is with Flower’s head, it is highly likely that England’s most successful coach will keep his job; so too the captain, Cook, largely due to a lack of alternatives.

This ‘new start’ for England is most likely to come into effect through a change in style, influenced by some new playing personnel, rather than through drastic changes at the top. The retirement of Graeme Swann has ensured that this process has already begun; no longer do England have a world class spinner who, even when conditions do not suit him, is able to ‘bowl dry’, holding up an end. Without this luxury, England can no longer risk going into Test Matches with only four front line bowlers; what they now need is a five-man attack à la 2005, with a genuine all-rounder to bat at number six.

Thankfully, it seems that, from the gloom of the past couple of months, one shining light has emerged – someone who could provide the key to balancing such a side. We ought to be wary of placing too great a weight of expectation on such young shoulders, but it is impossible not to be excited by the talent Ben Stokes has displayed in his brief international career.

In the entirety of Andrew Flintoff’s career, the talismanic all rounder registered only five centuries and three five wicket hauls; Stokes has achieved one of each inside only four Tests. What is more, the manner in which he has scored his runs and taken his wickets is just what England need. For too long we have been getting by with an uninspiring brand of cricket, relying on the top three to churn out centuries, a tactic effective against lesser opposition but liable to be exposed by the type of aggression displayed by Australia.

For this reason, it is also essential that England ensure that Steven Finn regains the form that has seen him take 90 wickets in only 23 Test Matches. He, like Stokes, has that element of star quality; capable of bowling at speeds of over 90mph, he would have been perfectly suited to the pitches Down Under, and must be ready to play come the first Test of the summer.

Steven Finn recapturing his best form would be a major boost to future English hopes. Photo: kingcricket.co.uk

A four-pronged seam attack of Anderson, Broad, Stokes and Finn, with Onions in reserve, looks lethal on English wickets. Such a pace attack may allow England to play leg-spinner Scott Borthwick, a genuine attacking option, in Swann’s open berth. But if not, the best option for the moment may be to stick with Panesar.

Nevertheless, it is not the bowlers who are to blame for this debacle – the fault lies firmly with the batsmen. England’s problem is that players such as Cook, Trott, Pietersen and Bell are statistically some of our country’s greatest ever, with Test records that make them very hard to drop. Trott’s troubles have probably opened up space for some long term freshening-up, but on the whole, these players will remain the mainstay.

The key for England is to ensure they are all fully committed to righting the wrongs of last winter and overseeing the development of future stars such as Root and Ballance. With this healthy mix of experience and youth, England’s batting star could yet rise again, but they must be ready to face extreme pace next time they encounter it.

It may sound strange to be excited about English cricket at this lowest of moments, but with players like Stokes and Balance we are entering into a brave new world. Who knows – their drubbing may in fact allow the England cricket to, like the Phoenix, rise from the Ashes more beautiful than before.

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How have Australia transformed themselves this Ashes series?

Australia’s victory in Perth completed a seismic shift in the cricket power battle against England. Cricket expert Ben Pullan analyses how a team that meekly surrendered the Ashes in the summer has been transformed into a formidable force in world cricket.

Michael Clarke has led by example. Photo: cricketcountry.com

In the early hours of Tuesday morning, what has looked like an inevitability for the past couple of weeks came into fruition, as Australia regained the Ashes. The moment itself seemed fitting; another hapless England tailender, James Anderson, poking another well-directed Johnson thunderbolt into the hands of the short leg fielder.

Cue scenes of utter jubilation from the Australian players at the Waca, who were all (aside from Clarke) tasting victory against England for the first time. As for our boys, serious questions now need to be asked, starting with how on earth the Ashes fortress – won in 2009 and then defended so stoutly for over four years – has been ceded in a matter of fourteen days on the field.

Much criticism has been given to those responsible for England’s limp performance, including the supposedly world-class players Cook, Pietersen, Prior, Swann and Anderson, but we now must for a minute forget England’s shortcomings and give due credit to one of the great turnarounds in cricket history. Four months ago, Australia were a distant second to England, now they are runaway winners here. How has this happened?

1. The bowling.

Mitchell Johnson. Two words that, prior to this series, formed the punch line to ninety-nine per cent of the Barmy Army’s jokes. A bowler who had been hyped up so much by the Australian media, yet never fulfilled his promise against England.

The more observant spectators would have taken note of his ominous performances in recent One Day series against England and India, but very few would have predicted quite what has happened here. Put simply, he has destroyed England’s batting with extreme pace delivered from his unique low-arm slingy action.

Ryan Harris has developed into an excellent bowler. Photo: telegraph.co.uk

The stats reflect this. So far this series, he has taken 23 wickets at an absurd average of 15.47. If he continues to take wickets at this rate, he will finish the series around the 40 mark, which would put him in seriously exclusive company.

However, the demise of England’s celebrated batting line-up cannot be attributed to one man alone. Australia’s back up bowling has played a key role in Johnson’s success.

Last summer saw the emergence of Ryan Harris as an Ashes star and he has carried over that good form into this winter, with his right arm out swing contrasting with Johnson’s left arm pace to form a lethal new ball pairing.

And the pressure is not released once these two are done, as Clarke can turn to Peter Siddle, a vastly underrated, accurate, economical seamer who has the happy knack of picking up Pietersen’s wicket. In addition to these three, Australia’s off spinner, Nathan Lyon, has out-bowled Graeme Swann, and England find Shane Watson’s military medium pace almost impossible to score off.

So Australia have something of a dream attack at the moment – four back up bowlers at the top of their games, ensuring that the star man – Johnson – can be used in the short, sharp bursts that suit him.

2. The Batting.

Whilst Johnson has been the success story in the bowling department for Australia, another former laughing stock, David Warner, has come to the fore with the bat for them. Encouraged to play his natural game and restored to his preferred position at the top of the order for Australia, the ultra-aggressive batsman has come out in every Test Match and looked to take the game to England.

This Hayden-esque approach to opening the batting has meant that Australia have got off to several ‘fliers’ in this series, particularly in their second innings, where Warner has thrown caution completely to the wind, ensuring that England have not got a look in.

He has clearly thrived on the license to attack; in three Tests last summer he scored 138 runs at an average of 23, as opposed to the 457 at 91.4 he has scored so far this series. Warner has come a long way since swinging a left hook at Joe Root and thus being sent home from the Champions Trophy in June.

David Warner has bullied the England bowlers. Photo: telegraph.co.uk

As with the bowling, however, it has been no one man show; five of Australia’s top seven have contributed to Australia’s tally of seven centuries (compared to England’s one). Clarke, once again, has led from the front brilliantly, scoring two centuries and comprehensively winning his battle against England’s spinner, Graeme Swann.

Haddin, the wicket-keeper, has had a superlative series with the bat (and gloves) so far. Coming in at number seven, he has been a constant thorn in England’s side, whether it be in leading a rescue act or scoring quick runs to set up a declaration, and has failed to pass fifty only once in the series so far.

Smith and Watson are the other two century makers, and Bailey, Johnson and Rogers have had their moments as well. So Australia have all bases covered with the bat – an extraordinary turnaround from the embarrassing collapses of last summer.

3. The Management.

Though it is down to the players on the field to win games of cricket, one cannot understate the contribution to Australia’s success that their coach, Darren Lehmann, has made. Australian cricket was in a shambolic state of affairs when he took over; on the field, they had been whitewashed in India and had not won a game in the Champions Trophy; off the field, there had been a series of embarrassing mishaps, including the famous ‘homework saga’.

The man he was replacing, Mickey Arthur, was the ultimate ‘technocrat’, placing emphasis on seemingly trivial off-field analysis, rather than getting the job done and winning games of cricket. What Lehmann has done so well, in partnership with the skipper Clarke, is cut the rubbish and go back to basics, letting his batsmen go out and hit the ball and encouraging his bowlers to intimidate England’s batsmen.

This ‘old school’ style has had a liberating effect on players like Warner and Johnson, and Australia have rediscovered the aggression that saw them dominate world cricket for the best part of two decades.

Under the influence of this back to basics approach, Australia’s players have been given a chance to express themselves, resulting in the thrilling brand of cricket that has seen them transformed from the whipping boys of four months ago to the force that they are now.

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The end of an era for England's cricketers?

In the aftermath of the Adelaide test, cricket expert and Sports Team member Ben Pullan analyses the state of the England side. Are they in crisis or can they rescue the series? Is the natural end of a golden era for England? 

Mitchell Johnson has terrified the England batsmen. Photo: smh.co.au

Watching last week’s Test Match was a pretty harrowing experience; whereas England’s dire performance in Brisbane could be cast aside as a one-off, there is now no hiding from the truth that England’s seven-year grip over the little urn will most likely come to an end this winter.

In Test cricket teams simply do not come back from 2-0 down. In 130-odd years of the game, on only three occasions has a team come back to draw a series from this position. And an England win? Well if that were to happen, they would stand with Bradman’s ’36 / ’37 Australians, the only side to have achieved this. The facts make pretty grim reading.

It is not simply the fact that England lost last week that has enraged fans– though this is hardly a top Australian side – but the manner in which they succumbed. For it became quickly apparent that England’s illustrious batting line-up had not learnt their lessons from Brisbane.  They still showed no answer to the raw pace of Mitchell Johnson, who simply blew away England’s first innings with figures of 7/40.

Though the mustachioed villain did send down one of the most inspired spells of pace bowling in recent history, there is simply no excuse for collapsing to 172 all out on a wicket as flat as Adelaide’s.

The second dig, as well, highlighted that the ‘soft’ tag that had been attached England after Brisbane was justified; craving to see some sort of resistance from Broad and Swann on the fifth morning, we were palpably let down when they both threw their wickets away.

The bowling attack, likewise, seemed toothless in the face of their Aussie counterparts. Whilst Johnson, Harris and Siddle all steamed in with aggression for Australia, Broad and Anderson tiptoed – and England’s master plan of playing two spinners was an unequivocal failure: the combined match figures for Swann and Panesar read 4/380 – a complete nightmare.

Just to complete the set, Australia out-fielded England, who dropped several chances during the match, including an absolute dolly from Carberry when Haddin was only on seven, costing England 111 runs.

Indeed watching England so far this series has reminded me what it was like prior to the Flower ‘golden age’. Waking up to find that England’s batting line-up had collapsed once again recalled strong memories of the horror story ’06 / ’07 whitewash – when, as a cricket-mad eleven-year-old, I used to dread the early morning check of Cricinfo. At least in that series England had challenged the Australians by this stage, having scored 551 for six declared in the first innings of the Adelaide Test.

The most remarkable aspect of this series so far is that the teams have experienced such a sudden change of fortunes. Looking simply at recent results, very few would have predicted England to be 2-0 down after 2; yes, they had to scramble a series draw in New Zealand last March, but on the whole, their results have been good, whilst Australia’s have been dire.

Nevertheless, the more observant spectator would have noticed that, over the past year or so, the master plan that saw England dominate world cricket in 2010 and 2011 has slowly been eroding. During that period, England could generally rely on one of their top seven of Cook, Strauss, Trott, Pietersen, Bell, Collingwood and Prior to score big runs in the first innings. This ensured that the pressure was always on the opposition, never more so than Down Under in the 2010 / 2011 Ashes, where in every Test bar Perth England racked up a huge score, meaning that the Aussies could not get a look in.

However, since then, cracks have appeared and widened. The number 6 position, for so long occupied by the stalwart of the side Collingwood, has been problematic since his retirement; Morgan, Bopara, Root and Stokes have all had a go, but none have nailed down the spot.

Michael Carberry sees a catch opportunity go beyond him. Photo: the Daily Mail

Likewise, Strauss has still not been replaced at the top of the order. Compton was the first choice, but he was rather unfairly dumped, to be replaced by Root, who has now been dropped down the order once again to make space for Carberry.

In addition to this mess, Prior and Cook have been in woeful form, Trott has had a breakdown, and Pietersen has been his usual inconsistent self. Really, the only batsman who has played to his full potential in recent times is Ian Bell, to whom England have to thank largely for their Ashes victory last summer. Looking at it in this way, it should not really be that surprising that a top class attack with a quick bowler in genuinely world class form should succeed against such a flawed line-up.

The question now is where do England go? Is this genuinely the end of an era? Are wholesale changes to the team required for success? Is this the equivalent of the 2005 Ashes, where Australia’s decade-long empire finally began to crumble? If so, then England have had not nearly long enough as a superpower in world cricket.

At the start of the series, we thought we had a settled line-up, but over the past couple of weeks the heads of such regulars as Graeme Swann, Jonathan Trott, Matt Prior and Kevin Pietersen have been called for at some point or another. These are men who have dominated world cricket during our current decade – and should now be in the prime of their careers – but has this settled England side begun to stagnate? There have even been suggestions that Alistair Cook – for so long touted as Strauss’s successor – should relinquish the captaincy. What a turnaround from the position he was in at the end of last summer!

I personally would advise England not to act too drastically yet. Put slightly simplistically, it has just been two poor performances. Carberry and Stokes have already been thrown in at the deep end, and I would be loath to see more newbies brought into such a series; it could be potentially career damaging.

So let’s give the old guard their chance to prove their worth. It now really is ‘do or die’ time, and if they don’t stand up in Perth –  and the Ashes are ceded limply – some careers will be on the line.

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England need to stand up to the pace to avert a repeat of Brisbane

Australia’s Johnson during a bruising first test for England. Photo: thesidelineagenda.com

It is fair to say that the England cricket team came back down to Earth with a rather painful bump in Brisbane last week. Apart from Stuart Broad’s crowd-defying heroics on the first day, Australia bossed this Test Match.

As a spectator, it was almost as if we had taken a trip back in time to 2006/07, or even the Dark Ages of the 1990s; our batsmen succumbed weakly to Australia’s pace attack, and our bowlers – Broad aside – could not match their Australian counterparts. What’s more, coming out of the Test Match, it seems as if the Australian side have rediscovered their snarl.

Throughout the Test, England’s batsmen were peppered with short-pitched bowling from Johnson, Harris and Siddle. Johnson, in particular, proved to the doubters just what a threat he is on his day. Though his low-arm, slingy action can go horribly wrong, when everything clicks – as it did last week – the constant barrage of extreme pace becomes a nightmare for the batsman.

The aggression shown by Australia’s bowlers, in turn, gives greater weight to the verbals deployed by the men in the field; when Michael Clarke told the incoming batsman James Anderson to “get ready for a broken f***ing arm”, he knew he genuinely had the firepower in his bowling attack to inflict this.

Australia’s aggression has already claimed one victim for good; Lehman and Clarke would consider the return home of Jonathan Trott with a ‘stress related illness’ as a wicket for their tactics of ‘mental disintegration’.

This first Test has reminded the cricket world just what an asset to any side raw pace is. This is particularly the case in Australia, where, on their fast, bouncy wickets, there is no substitute for an accurate 90mph plus bowler. In the 1932/33 Ashes, England were lucky enough to have one of these in Harold Larwood. Bowling ‘bodyline’ with relentless accuracy to a packed leg side field, he proved to be too hot to handle for the Australian batsmen, who simply could not take the sustained barrage.

He even managed to contain the greatest batsmen of them all, Don Bradman, whose average for that series was a mere mortal 56.57 (as opposed to his extraordinary career average of 99.94), which proved to be the deciding factor in England’s victory.

Since then, England have been given a taste of their own medicine on several tours Down Under, most notably in 1974/75, when Australia had two of the quickest bowlers ever at their disposal, Dennis Lillee and Jeff Thomson. England lost this series 4-1; if Lillee or ‘Tommo’ didn’t get you out, they would knock you out.

It might be hyperbolic to compare England’s current challenge with these events of the past (Johnson is, as we know, a hugely inconsistent bowler), but no one can deny that England are going to have to find a way to face the pace if they are to come back in this series. Nobody would doubt that England have the talent in their top six to do so; Cook, Pietersen and Bell are universally regarded as some of the best batsmen in the world, and they all thrive on quick bowling.

One suggestion would be that they do not give their wickets away cheaply to the support bowlers; with the Australian pace attack in their current form, we cannot afford to throw away wickets to Nathan Lyon (which happened last week) – they must resist the urge to relax once they have seen off the pace.

The only other thing that can be said is that they simply need to be prepared to grit it out. Whilst it cannot be much fun facing Johnson’s 90 mph thunderbolts, these guys are considered the best batsmen in the country for a reason, and part of the job description of a Test Match batsman is to wear a bit of ‘chin music’.

They should consider themselves lucky; Bradman and co. faced Larwood’s assault without helmets, and without rules limiting the amount of short balls bowled per over. So man up England – or be prepared to lose again!

Ben Pullan, Sports Team

More men to watch out for in the Ashes

Last week, we previewed those names who have already written themselves into Ashes history through their past performances. Now, we should look at those with the chance to add their own chapter this winter.

Michael Carberry – 2013 Ashes: DNP

The man who has benefited most from the warm up games, Carberry is now a shoe-in for the opening berth in the first Test. Despite the fact that Carberry only has one Test cap to his name, he is vastly experienced at First Class level, having been around for more than a decade.

For this reason, he is expected to fill a Rogers-esque role in the side; everyone knows that one day Joe Root will open the batting for England, but for now, some experience is required at the top of the order, meaning Carberry comes in and Root drops down to 6. He has a tough battle ahead of him dealing with the threat of Harris and Johnson, but, if Carberry has a good series, he will be more than just a short-term fill in.

Photo: Wikimedia Commons

Joe Root – 2013 Ashes: 339 runs @ 37.66, 3 wickets @ 11.33.

Unquestionably one of England’s brightest talents, most agree that one day Root will succeed Alistair Cook as the side’s premier opening batsman, and perhaps even as England captain. For now though, Root may need to be content with the No. 6 slot in the batting order; though the 180 he made as an opener last summer at Lord’s hinted at the future, if Carberry is to play, Root will drop down to the position he had great success at in his first few Tests.

This should, however, have a positive effect on his batting; last summer, Harris and Siddle caused him problems with the new ball – shielded from it, he should have a better chance to express himself.

Steven Finn – 2013 Ashes: 2 wickets @ 55.50

Tall, quick and bouncy, Finn has all the tools required to succeed Down Under. However, he still lacks the necessary control that would make him a great Test bowler. The warm up matches have shown a typical Finn; though he has always taken a wicket, they have come at a price – something that Flower and Cook know they cannot afford. Having said this, if Finn can add this essential ingredient to his game, he could be a terrifying prospect for the Australians this winter, particularly at Perth with its extra pace and bounce.

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Chris Tremlett – 2013 Ashes: DNP

A contender to Finn for the third seamer’s spot, Tremlett is the safer bet of the two. Like Finn, Temlett is quick, tall and can extract bounce out of the Aussie wickets, but he also has that essential ingredient of accuracy.

In the ‘10/’11 Ashes, which he came into as a like-for-like replacement for the injured Stuart Broad, Tremlett terrorized the Aussie batsman with pace and bounce, finishing the series with 17 wickets @ 23.35. Since then, his career has been dogged with injuries, but this winter represents a fantastic chance for him to begin an extended run in the Test side.

Dave Warner – 2013 Ashes: 13 runs @ 23.00

Whether it be for a typically exhilarating innings or for throwing a left hook at Root, Warner never seems to be far from the headlines. Brought into the Test team on the basis of his performances in One Day cricket, everything about Warner’s brief Test career has been unorthodox.

Nevertheless, on his day, he is a hugely dangerous prospect; with a Test Match strike rate approaching 70, he can very quickly take the game away from the opposition. However, as his performance in last summer’s Ashes indicated, he is by no means a quality Test Match batsman yet, and if Warner opens for Australia in the first Test, Anderson and Broad will back their chances.

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See Also: Five things to watch out for at the Ashes

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Photo: Rhondda (via Flickr)

Shane Watson – 2013 Ashes: 418 runs @ 41.80, 2 wickets @ 89.50

Rarely has opinion been so polarised about a single player as it is for Watson. Sometimes he fits his tag as the big, brash Hayden-esque destroyer of bowling attacks, yet often he is subdued and containable. Equally damaging to Australia’s cause is his tendency to get out when set – he has passed 50 23 times in 46 Tests, but has only converted three of these into hundreds – a truly appalling stat for a Test Match opener.

Nevertheless, he hinted at his potential in the final Test of last summer’s Ashes, in which he scored a brilliant 176, and one only needs to watch One Day cricket to see that Watson has the talent to cut it at international level. Australia need their second most experienced batsman to stand up this winter and finally fulfill his potential.

George Bailey – 2013 Ashes: DNP

Until a couple of weeks ago, the name George Bailey meant very little to the cricketing fraternity, apart from the fact that he was a journeyman pro that had somehow been made Australia’s One Day captain. This all changed in the thrilling One Day series between Australia and India that was contested last month, in which Bailey played out of his skin, scoring 478 runs @ 95.60 with a barely believable strike rate of 116.

After such a phenomenal feat of run scoring, there was no way that Australia’s Test side – in desperate need of some batting strength – could turn their back on such a ready-made option. It would be sheer madness if the Australian selectors did not select Bailey to bat in the middle order for the First Test.

Mitchell Johnson – 2013 Ashes: DNP

The hecklers will be very pleased to hear that Johnson is well and truly back in contention for an Ashes spot. The inconsistent left arm seamer has been bowling seriously quickly over the past few months, giving first the England One Day side and then India some serious hurry-up. On his day, Johnson can be lethal, as shown at Headingley in ‘09 and Perth in ‘10/’11, where he ran through England’s middle order in a brilliant spell of 6/38.

However, the flipside to Johnson is the one seen at Lord’s in ‘09 and Brisbane in ‘10/’11, where England cashed in on his loose bowling. Australia would love the first version of Johnson to turn up this winter; if he does, England’s batsmen have a serious threat to contend with.

So, these are the players who have the chance to make history this winter; the question as to whether they do or don’t should make this series compelling viewing.

Ben Pullan, Sports Team

Five things to watch out for at the Ashes

Photo: ibnlive.in.com

TMS listeners will be longing to hear Boys banging on about his “nan being able to hit tha” – particularly when it becomes obvious to all that the Aussies simply do not know how to hold a bat, let alone use one. Geoffrey’s relatives are frequently mentioned on air, as is his unnerving ability to feel that he, a 70 year old man, could face up to the likes of Ryan Harris and Mitchell Johnson. Here’s hoping that one of them can knock some sense into him.

On a serious note, though, we do love the TMS team – especially good old Henry ‘Blowers’ Blofield, who will no doubt identify many pigeons throughout the series. Legend has it that, were a kookaburra to come swooping onto the field, Blowers would let himself go, causing Aggers to exclaim: “control yourself Henry!” There is much love for the proper way of listening to our beloved game.

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A double hundred for Ashton Agar will be the icing on the Barbie for the Aussies, as he destroys the spin attack of Swanny and Rooty. Here is a kid, as fearless as Mark Owen taking to the stage without Take That, who annihilated England’s bowling in the first Ashes test scoring a remarkable 98 on debut.

Considering he was recently potty trained, the baby faced Agar waved his bat around like a musketeer’s rapier, stroking the ball to all parts of Trent Bridge. To onlookers his inclusion is paramount, for he will easily double the top six’s total score. Without him, the Aussies will struggle to reach triple figures.

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Photo: John Garghan (via Flickr)

Rumour has it that Hollywood will be making a visit down under this winter in order to scout an all-new comic action hero who can fight crime and provide hours of banter along the way. Needless to say, the cheeky chappy will be England’s very own Graeme ‘Swanny’ Swann, whose last series in Australia provided the public with hilarious video diary entries which prove that sportsmen do in fact have a sense of humour.

It is believed the first film will include Swanny weaving a web around the evil Doctor Clarke and Watto-man, as he teases them, before flicking his finger and knocking them into the ground. Box office records will be broken.

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An interesting situation will occur at Sydney when it appears Stuart Broad has super-glued his feet onto the ground, meaning he cannot walk when given out. A public outcry follows with Aussie coach Darren Lehman calling for Broad to “man up and play barefoot.” Broad of course will deny he applied said glue before a suspiciously shaped package is found at the bottom of his sister’s bed.

In addition, snide comments about KP’s streamlined bat edge come to the fore at a drunken New Year’s party, where David ‘the Haymaker’ Warner attempts to knock out Joe ‘choir boy’ Root, only for Boyd Rankin’s fist to intervene. Warner will later be seen crying his heart out to Liz Hurley, who suggests he tries the artful game of poker as it is working wonders with Warney, for she “barely sees him anymore.”

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Photo: espn.com

Will Watto ever learn where his off stump is? Having been dismissed an incredible 20 times by LBW, Shane Watson appears to have no idea where his stumps are. Having been LBW in six consecutive innings, in the fourth test, with Australia 3-0 down, he decides to take matters into his own hands by standing behind the stumps and swinging his bat.

When asked why this was preferable to sorting the problem out, Shane replies, ‘Well mate, least my f***ing pads are given a break!’ Lehman is quick to drop him for the final test and bring in Ricky Ponting for one final hoorah. By then, though, it is far too late. England win the series 5-0, with Alastair Cook scoring an unbelievable 1000 runs and Monty Panesar being the leading wicket taker.

Cook himself is given a knighthood, whilst his counterpart Michael Clarke retires, citing back problems. Andy Flower feels he has taken the side as far as he can, thus retiring to spend more time in the garden, leading the public’s favourite, Geoffrey Boycott, to take over. England’s domination is set to continue for many years to come…

Alex Whitington, Sports Team

Who to watch out for in the Ashes

It seems very strange to be writing a preview to another Ashes series, with the events of the summer still so fresh in mind. Nevertheless, we are already two games in to England’s campaign Down Under, so we must start looking ahead to the five Test series that begins on 21 November.

Though this year we have lost something of the normal long term build up to an Ashes series – normally, our appetite for Ashes cricket is given a full two years to reinvigorate itself, but in this case, we have had barely two months – what we have gained is a short term Ashes fix, a salivating prospect for most cricket fans.

For this return series will not only provide us with the unique chance to assess both teams home and away, but will also allow for the battles that began to simmer last summer to reach boiling point over the next couple of months. Let’s first look at a few of the key players, the men who are already proven Ashes performers, who will once again be crucial in deciding the fate of their team this time around:

Bell plays a shot at Trent Bridge during the last Ashes series. Photo: Nic Redhead (via Flickr)

Ian Bell – 2013 Ashes: 562 runs @ 62.44

Coming into the start of last summer’s Ashes, some were questioning this man’s right to a place in the team. For, though Bell was already a proven Test Match performer, he had not quite shaken the tag of being an attractive batsman who avoided tough situations. By the end of the summer, however, he had written himself into Ashes folklore, having scored three brilliant hundreds when England needed a player to step up.

He was the difference between the two sides last summer, and if he emulates that performance this winter, he will earn the right to be viewed as a true Ashes legend; what a turnaround it would be from those tentative beginnings in 2005, back when he was cannon-fodder for McGrath and Warne.

Alastair Cook – 2013 Ashes: 277 runs @ 27.7

Most are in agreement that, if England are to win the Ashes Down Under, we need much-improved performance from captain Cook. Let’s not forget that, in the 10/11 series, which England won 3-1, Cook scored a phenomenal 766 runs, at a Bradman-esque average of 127.66.

We know that the recipe for success in Australia is to make huge first innings totals and then squeeze the opposition, and for this to happen, we cannot see a repeat of England’s top order frailties from last summer. Cook will have to lead from the front.

Pietersen in action at Trent Bridge. Photo: Nic Redhead (via Flickr)

Kevin Pietersen – 2013 Ashes: 388 runs @ 38.80

Still the most feared player in the England batting line-up, Pietersen will want to end his outstanding Ashes career on a high. A veteran of five Ashes series, Pietersen has played memorable innings against the Aussies, not least his electric second innings 62 at the Oval last summer which so nearly granted England an unlikely victory.

The first Test at Brisbane will be his hundredth, and it would be so fitting if he could mark it with a KP classic – something like his memorable 158 in the Oval Test of the 2005 series, or the double hundred he scored at Adelaide in 06/07.

James Anderson – 2013 Ashes: 22 wickets @ 29.95

Another hero of the past two England Ashes victories, Anderson remains the undisputed leader of England’s attack. The highlight of his summer was undoubtedly putting in a superb performance at Trent Bridge, where, on a flat, dead wicket, he utilised his exceptional skills with the old ball to run through the Aussie batting, finishing with 10 wickets in the match and giving England a 1-0 lead.

That said, like Cook, Anderson will have to replicate his stellar performance in the 10/11 Ashes, in which he took 26 wickets on the same tracks that England’s batsmen made hay on, if England are to win this winter.

Graeme Swann – 2013 Ashes: 26 wickets @ 29.03

Unquestionably the finest English off-spinner since Jim Laker, Swann, as usual, gave the Australian left-handers a nightmare last summer. Though the Australians will try to negate his effect by preparing non-turning pitches, Swann has a huge part to play this winter, even if it be a more holding role à la the 10/11 series.

In England’s case, there are several more players that could, and should, be mentioned here – Trott, Prior, Broad to name a few – but only two of this current Australian side have performed consistently enough in Ashes cricket to warrant a mention in this section:

Clarke plays a shot at Old Trafford. Photo: Sum of Marc (via Flickr)

Michael Clarke – 2013 Ashes: 381 runs @ 47.62

Clarke is the only world-class batsman in the Australian line up; put simply, if they are to win this winter, he will need to score a lot of runs. He is also the only member of the current Australian side to have taken part in a series victory over England, having played in the 06/07 retribution whitewash, and will have to draw on all his experience to galvanize this browbeaten squad into a series-winning unit.

Ryan Harris – 2013 Ashes: 24 wickets @ 19.58

Harris – the man who, alongside Ian Bell, enhanced his own reputation the most last summer – is now regarded as one of the premier fast bowlers n the world. His Test record was always outstanding – averaging in the low twenties – but before the 2013 Ashes he had struggled to string together more than a couple of Tests before breaking down.

For this reason, Australia will be praying that Harris’s body holds together for the majority of the approaching five match series; if it does, his swing and pace will once again provide a tricky challenge for England’s batsmen.

Ben Pullan, Sports Team

Another British sporting summer to remember

Just as it seemed that the summer of 2012, when Team GB did the country proud at the London Olympics, would prove the zenith of British sporting success for the foreseeable future, Britain’s best athletes have excelled themselves once more. Here, we look back at some of the most memorable achievements in another incredible summer for British sport.

Novak Djokovic congratulates Murray on his Wimbledon triumph. Photo credits: Tim Schofield (via Flickr)

Andy Murray

Murray laid to rest the biggest cause for embarrassment in British sport – the fact that no male player had won the home tournament Wimbledon, the most prestigious event in tennis for 77 years.

Despite breaking his Grand Slam duck at the US Open last year, it felt as if his Wimbledon triumph was the moment his career had been leading up to so far. Aged 26, Murray has had to deal with an amount of pressure and setbacks that most sporting teams would struggle with, let alone one individual.

When he announced his arrival on the tennis scene in 2005 as a scrawny teenager full of talent but struggling to cope with the physicality of playing best-of-five sets and not all popular with the English fans, few would have imagined his transformation into an imposingly strong and quick athlete capable of powering through opponents on a wave of Centre Court support.

His straight sets win over the world number one Novak Djokovic was a convincing display of all-round modern day tennis, and an announcement that this finished article has much more to come.

Chris Froome

No British rider had won the Tour de France in the first 98 editions of the race, and now, like buses, two have come at once. Bradley Wiggins’ ride last year was more exciting for his off-bike interviews and charisma than his fairly defensive riding style.

His team-mate and rival Froome looked the stronger climber last year and proved in the centenary race that he is head and shoulders above nearly the entire field, leaving his predicted main challenger Alberto Contador to dust and only being tested by the exciting young Nairo Quintana.

Froome built his year around the Tour, comfortably winning a number of races in the spring before executing his Tour plan to perfection, claiming the yellow jersey on stage eight and never looking back. He showed  a willingness to ride with dominance and build on his time gap, with his acceleration of the feared Mont Ventoux one of the iconic moments in recent Tours. Time is also on his side, with a potential rivalry with Quintana set to dominate the Tours to come.

Lewis Hamilton en route to pole position at Silverstone. Photo credits: Mary Waudby (via Flickr)

Lewis Hamilton

Many were sceptical of Hamilton’s decision to leave McLaren – where he had raced since the start of his F1 career in 2007 – in favour of Mercedes at the end of last season. But, this summer was when the new partnership really began to gel.

The British Grand Prix at Silverstone saw Hamilton take the first of four successive pole positions, with the Stevenage-born driver on course for a memorable home victory until he was removed from contention due to a tyre blow-out. The Mercedes lacked race pace at the German Grand Prix, Hamilton fading from pole position to fifth, but it was a different story three weeks later in Hungary.

In sweltering temperatures, Hamilton dominated the race, only losing the lead after his pit-stops and making incisive passes at a circuit where overtaking is notoriously difficult. The win put Hamilton back in title contention, albeit temporarily, as well as making him the first Brit to win a race for Mercedes since Sir Stirling Moss back in 1955.

Justin Rose 

Prior to the US Open in June, the last Englishman to win a golf major had been Nick Faldo at the Masters all the way back in 1996;  a virtuoso performance on the tricky Merion course by Rose brought an end to the agonising 17-year wait.

Succeeding where the likes of Luke Donald, Lee Westwood and Ian Poulter have so far failed during their careers, Rose brought himself into play on the second day of the tournament by carding one of only six sub-par rounds throughout the entire field, and kept himself within striking distance on the third day despite a round of one over par.

The contest on the final day boiled down to a fight between Rose and perennial US Open runner-up Phil Mickelson. A double bogey from the American gave Rose a share of the lead, which he duly consolidated with back-to-back birdies on the sixth and seventh holes. Another pair of birdies on the twelfth and thirteenth effectively sealed the deal for the 32-year-old, who can now count himself among golf’s elite band of major champions.

England’s Jonny Bairstow plays a shot at Trent Bridge. Photo credit: Nic Redhead (via Flickr)

England Cricket Team 

The England cricketers had a triumphant summer after retaining the Ashes with a comprehensive 3-0 home victory over Australia. The scoreline does not tell the whole story though as the tourists had chances to win three of the five Tests and will be confident of bouncing back in the return series this winter.

England just edged the first match at Trent Bridge by 14 runs with James Anderson returning the match-winning figures of 10 for 160. This was followed by a more comfortable victory at Lord’s as Darren Lehmann’s team were dismissed cheaply after Joe Root’s impressive century. Bad weather saved the hosts in the third match of the series before they re-affirmed their dominance with a Stuart Broad inspired win at Durham.

Bad light prevented England from rubbing salt into Australian wounds in the final Test, but they can reflect on a summer that has seen them beat New Zealand 2-0, reach the Champions Trophy final and record their biggest victory over the ‘Old Enemy’ since 1979.

British & Irish Lions

The Lions completed their first series victory since 1997 with a 2-1 triumph over Australia back in July, sealing the win in the last game of the series with an emphatic 16-41 win at Sydney’s ANZ Stadium thanks to tries from Alex Corbisiero, George North, Jonathan Sexton and Jamie Roberts.

This is only the fifth time that the Lions have won a tour since 1962, with previous series wins coming in 1997 (South Africa), 1989 (Australia), 1974 (South Africa) and 1971 (New Zealand).

24 year old Welsh fullback Leigh Halfpenny excelled throughout the tour, ending up as Man of the Series having amassed 49 points in the three Test Matches.

The Lions had to wait until the last match of the tour to seal the series win, having lost the Second Test 16-15, where a win would have given them an unassailable 2-0 lead. They had won the First Test in equally dramatic fashion, 21-23, with Australian utility back Kurtley Beale slipping over and missing a penalty in the last minute.

By Matt Bugler, Jamie Klein, Simon Dewhurst & Will Kelleher 

EUMCC win the Ashes

The team along with the copy of the Ashes video game. Photo credits to Exeter University

The University of Exeter Men’s Cricket Club will feature alongside some of the best cricketers in the world in the 2013 Ashes computer game.

The club fought off tough competition from 288 teams to win a competition, hosted by 505 Games, which offered one club from both the UK and Australia the opportunity to have eleven players appear as a team in the game.

The Ashes 2013 is the official game of the infamous England – Australia test series and is fully endorsed by the England Cricket Board and Cricket Australia. Players will have the opportunity to play the Ashes as seen on the television or select from 24 other teams to compete in one day matches.

505 Games Marketing Director Alison Greagsby said “We designed the competition to really engage with grass roots cricket. The opportunity to be built into a video game is a real once in a lifetime opportunity and nearly 17,000 people voted for different clubs.

The University of Exeter Cricket Club ran a brilliant campaign. We have all watched their celebratory video which was fantastic.”

505 Games visited the Sir Christopher Ondaatje Devon Cricket Centre on Streatham Campus to take photographs of the eleven players which will be used in the game and to take down important statistical information.

1^st Team Captain Joseph Barrs signed the club up to the competition and was delighted with the result; he said “It was very close and extremely tense. We mobilised a lot of people and are incredibly grateful to all of the Athletic Union clubs who helped us – it is incredibly warming to have had their support.

The hardest part has been picking the people to feature in the game. We have tried to pick the people who had worked the hardest to get us in the game, which is a mixture of the whole club, but a lot of people deserved a space. From the first XI to purely social members, the whole club will be represented. This is something we can talk about for the rest of our lives; we can all say ‘we were there’.”

Club Captain Richard Croney added “All the guys are delighted. It’s nice to give the cricket club recognition. It’s been a new experience for all of us. It’s quite exciting, it’s a bit of fun and really good for the club – I’ve always quite fancied my chances of taking the Ashes’ winning catch behind the stumps.”

The Men’s Cricket Club are hoping this success will set the tone for the rest of the season. The side have made it through to the second round of the British Universities and Colleges Sports (BUCS) indoor cricket knockout competition, and are set to start pre-season training for the outdoor competition in April.

Director of Cricket Julian Wyatt commented “The boys have done fantastically well and it is a great achievement to be immortalised on the game. This is a superb piece of publicity for the club but our main focus is always performing in BUCS.

The boys have been working incredibly hard so far this season, and we are confident that they will not only be beating England and Australia in the living room, but also Loughborough and Durham on the pitch.”

List of players that will be included in the game:

Joe Barrs
Richard Croney
Ollie Greaves
Archie Hood
George Williams
Chris Wheatley
Bradley Lane
Ollie Strong
Andrew Curtis
Alec Stuart
Rob Graham

Toby Crewes