Looking to impress that special someone this Valentine’s Day? Can’t be arsed to put in too much effort? Here’s a perfect three-course menu that requires a minimal amount of effort, and you’ll be beating off the suitors with a rolling pin faster than you can say “but it only came from a can”.
Photo by Kate Gray.
First course:
Pastry-wrapped, oven-baked Brie
Firstly, let’s clear up that puddle of drool on the floor. You might slip.
Down to business. You’ll need three things:
1. A round of Brie
2. Apricot jam
3. Ready-to-roll dough (croissant dough, if you can get it)
It’s really this easy:
Roll out the dough.Spread the jam over it. Put the Brie in the middle.Wrap it up.Bake at 170 C or gas mark 4 for 15 minutes. Eat.
Second course:
Prawn, rocket & chilli linguine
This one used to be one of my absolute favourites until I developed an allergy to shellfish. Seriously. But you lucky people can still enjoy it at my expense, because it’s amazing, easy and fairly impressive once plated up.
You’ll need:
400g tiger prawns, peeled
1 garlic clove
30ml olive oil
Half a lemon
1 chilli, de-seeded and thinly sliced
40g rocket leaves
175g linguine
Fresh parsley to decorate
(optional)
Add prawns, garlic and 1tsp of the oil to a bowl. Cover and let marinade for 15 minutes (while you’re eating the Brie, maybe…).
Zest the lemon (you can use a peeler for this, then chop the rind up). Juice the lemon.
Cook the pasta in salted boiling water, following the directions on the pack.
Cook the prawns in a heated frying pan for 5 minutes.
Add the chilli and the lemon zest to the pan.
Remove from the heat, and add the pasta, the rocket and the parsley… If you bought any.
Drizzle over the oil and lemon juice (and salt and pepper, if you like).
Serve!
Dessert:
Slutty brownies
So named because they’re filthy, devilishly bad for you, incredibly easy and because you can’t have just one (also I heard rumours that
they give out sexual favours behind the bike shed, but you didn’t hear that from me), slutty brownies are the zenith of lazy-yet-awesome baking. They might even rival the 5-minute microwave mug cake for the laziness/tastiness ratio.
Here’s what you’ll need:
Box mix of cookie dough
Box mix of brownies
One pack of Oreos
Eggs
Oil
For this one, all you need to do is follow the instructions on the box (but add a splash more oil/water to the cookie dough mix to make sure it won’t burn!). Squidge cookie dough into the bottom of a greased deep dish tray. Layer the Oreos on top. Top with the brownie mixture.
Bake at 180 C, or gas mark 4, for 30 minutes.
Serve with ice cream.
Die of happiness.
By Kate Gray.
exeposedev 