The Oscars is one of the only times I feel justified in buying ‘Ok’ or ‘Hello’ simply so I can trawl through the endless red carpet pictures and here’s a brief summary of the most stand-out dresses for me.
With so much haute couture, and quite frankly scarily attractive people, finding “The Dress” that’s flattering, bold, and yet elegant, must be an ordeal. “But…” I hear you protest, “How can shopping with an unlimited budget EVER be an ordeal?” I would’ve liked to do some research into this deep cultural question but unfortunately I am on a limited budget.
It’s us, the jealous bitches not invited to the party, that make choosing an Oscar dress the work of five stylists rather than the result of a reckless impulse. We’re out to judge every sequin, pleat and neckline with a vengeance.
Yet, ultimately, anyone who loves what they’re wearing can pull it off, even Helena Bonham Carter’s gothic bride look (right) is such a part of her that even I can’t criticise it.
Jennifer Lawrence’s dress (below) deserves the first mention. Not many people can pull off so pale a blush pink in curtain-like fabric –I would look so ill, security would probably send me home! The fitted bodice shows off her teeny tiny waist whilst the billowing train made even her little stumble appear elegant –well almost. For practical reasons this dress is too poufy. Firstly, she could trip on it. Secondly, someone is bound to tread on it. If Eddie Redmayne’s velvet slipper was the offending shoe you wouldn’t find me complaining but it’s more likely to be a stiletto ruining the train of Dior’s latest masterpiece.
Anne Hathaway has also managed to pull off pale pink but she chose a sleeker, straighter look. The satin is a tad stiff and heavy which makes her look even thinner. Not so much elegantly slinky as a bit robotic and let’s not mention the unfortunate seams around the nipple area…
Amanda Seyfried and Nicole Kidman on the other hand were looking very slinky in their curve-hugging sequined gowns. Kidman’s futuristic dress was particularly eye-catching with its heavily detailed train.
This not-so-small touch of sparkle is essential at any Hollywood event and the very brave opt for a Marilyn Monroe-esque gold. Catherine Zeta-Jones didn’t quite manage to prove that gentlemen actually prefer brunettes and looked a little like a shiny mermaid but Jessica Chastain’s more subtle shade accompanied by some red lippy made her look every inch the glamorous film star.
Former bond girl Halle Berry definitely had the right idea with a bold Versace gown but I wasn’t a fan of the 80s shoulder pads – too manly by far. But at least she didn’t have a purple caterpillar trailing down her back like Jennifer Garner.
For me the trusty black dress reigned as usual. Sandra Bullock and Adele were looking lovely in delicately beaded classics by Ellie Saab and Jenny Packham. Samantha Barks’ black Valentino certainly drew a few stares with its daringly plunging neckline, but we are all aware she has breasts. There’s no need to stick them in the photographers face.
I could spend hours going through all these dresses but here’s just a few tips this year has taught me in the unlikely event I become a red carpet regular:
1. Practice walking upstairs in heels, live international TV or not, this is ALWAYS embarrassing.
2. If you don’t wear something sparkly security won’t let you in – their sunglasses are protection from the glittering diamonds.
3. A plunging neckline is flattering and makes you look taller, but it’s best to leave some to the imagination.
4. Never EVER EVER wear yellow. No one wants to stand there looking like a lemon –Solange Knowles.
5. Keep it classic and you can’t ever go wrong –Rebecca Day-Lewis looked just the part in black lacey Dolce.
By Krissi Hill
Photo credits to Vogue and digitalspy.
exeposedev 