Diagnosed with Depression

Depression and mental health are big issues needing more open discussion. Flora Carr investigates what happens when depression hits closer to home.

Image credits: Marco Raaphorst

A few weeks ago a message from an old best friend from primary school popped up on Facebook. “Fuck it coming home. I am.” I was bewildered. I began to question her further. I knew something was wrong; her inarticulate messages read as if she were mumbling through tears, her long pauses coming between sobs. To protect my friend’s identity I’m changing and withholding various details about her, but in our following conversation she said she’d been diagnosed with clinical depression.

Depression. Just one word and my world shifted slightly. Until that moment it had been a word associated with soap operas, or drunken, pitied family friends who seemed like caricatures in themselves. Never would I have associated it with my friend from school, where she’d been a prefect whom everybody loved. And yet there it was. Before I could even respond, things went from bad to worse. She began to express her ‘humiliation’ at her diagnosis, saying she’d just never thought she’d be ‘one of those people’ who’d get depression. Aside from her doctor, she’d only told me and one other friend; at that point she couldn’t yet face telling her family, saying how her mum would ‘freak’. I became even more worried when she told me that she’d lost two-and-a-half stone since going to university. Was this normal for people with depression? I felt hopelessly under-qualified. I said that I wished I could be there to give her a hug and chocolate; I immediately regretted it.  Would she think I assumed that just a hug and chocolate would make her ‘better’? Would she think I was belittling her condition? I was nervous that the slightest comment from me might make everything worse. But I was also annoyed; my loyalty towards her made it impossible for me to break my promise not to tell anyone else. And her family needed to know. They could assure her, better than I ever could, that the single word ‘depression’ wasn’t her new identity. From everything she told me it seemed that, for her, depression was an embarrassing label, not a condition. But of course, before I’d had time to think calmly, even I had fleetingly seen it that way: a label to neatly categorise the more embarrassing and hostile characters in a television drama.

And yet my friend is far from alone. Every year, one in four will experience a mental health issue in the UK. And, perhaps unsurprisingly, in the aftermath of Christmas there is a spike in the number of people diagnosed with depression, and the number of suicide attempts. Perhaps ‘January Blues’ really is a real thing. For many of us, the idea of Christmas is placed on a pedestal. The songs that we listen to non-stop from 1 December (or, if you’re like me, mid-November) until Boxing Day constantly tell us that Christmas is the best time of the year. And for many, it is. Despite the annual disputes about whether or not we’ll be able to fit everything in the oven, it’s also a time of family, cheer, fantastic telly and, of course, embarrassing knit wear. But at the same time, the songs tell us that “next year all our troubles will be out of sight”; or, to quote Slade, “look to the future now / It’s only just begun”. They imply that washing down turkey with six glasses of mulled wine will also wash away all our problems. And of course that’s not the case. In the rush of hitting the sales (and tutting at how your present to your Mum is now 60 per cent cheaper), New Years Eve suddenly creeps up on you. Sausages-on-sticks are eaten, parties are attended, your dad tries to turn Jools Holland on, and you awkwardly kiss a stranger. And that’s that. As the clock strikes twelve the nation breathes out.

It’s the annual anti-climax. After New Year’s Eve there is little to hope for except a few more days of back-to-back films and left-over turkey sandwiches. After a solid month of looking eagerly forwards, January is a month of last year’s bills and back-to-work, back-to-school. For students, it’s even worse. As you slide into bed at the end of Boxing Day, surrounded by chocolate wrappers, you’re fully aware that the pile of revision you’ve neglected over the past few weeks can no longer be avoided. For many universities, including Exeter, exams start less than a week into January; barely giving you time to recover from the New Year hangover. Is it any wonder that this sudden shift from festive cheer to cold exam halls results in young adults such as my friend becoming not only rundown, but actually depressed?

In the hope that when I next spoke to my friend I would be able to give more constructive advice than ‘hugs and chocolate’, I decided to research clinical depression. However, trawling through pages of chatrooms and self-help guides on the internet, it’s surprising the number of people out there who view depression as something which only the weak are afflicted with. It struck a chord with me; my friend, in expressing her ‘humiliation’ at being diagnosed, seemed to suggest that somehow she had been rendered weaker, unworthy. Many view depression as something you can ‘shake off’ or ‘snap out of’. As highlighted by the recent trending video ‘The Mask You Live In’ by The Representation Project, guys are told to ‘man-up’, the implication being that having depression in some way emasculates them. For others, apparently all it takes is for your tell-it-like-it-is friend to advise you to ‘lighten up’ before taking you on a night out. Getting with someone in a club, getting drunk. Even hugs and chocolate… that’s all it takes, right? As it turns out, no.  Despite the Royal College of Psychiatrists and the Royal College of General Practitioners conducting a joint five-year ‘Defeat Depression’ campaign to reduce prejudice and educate in the UK during the 90s, studies have shown that social stigma surrounding depression still exists; many have little idea about its causes or symptoms. Depression can be caused by a range of factors, from biological or social factors to drug and alcohol abuse. You can even get depression from seasonal shifts in the weather, which is called ‘Seasonal Affective Disorder’ (SAD). Let alone January Blues, you can potentially become clinically depressed every winter. The symptoms of depression also vary: insomnia, hallucinations, appetite loss and insecurity all feature.

Image credits: Daniel Ogren

With such a range of causes and symptoms, ranging from the mild to the extreme, it is little wonder that so many people are diagnosed with it every year. You’d be shocked at the number of celebrities with clinical depression: Halle Berry, Alec Baldwin, Woody Allen, Jon Bon Jovi, Alistair Campbell, Kirsten Dunst, Harrison Ford, Anne Hathaway, Alicia Keys, Eminem, David Walliams, J.K Rowling, Robin Williams and many others. Stephen Fry’s struggles with depression and bipolar disorder have brought some publicity to the condition, particularly in his 2006 documentary Stephen Fry: The Secret Life of the Manic Depressive, which won Fry an Emmy in 2007. As mental health issues are gradually, tentatively explored, with documentaries such as Fry’s shedding some light on the real facts, public conceptions will, hopefully, begin to shift. The fact that so many successful celebrities have battled with and won against depression surely suggests that the condition is not in any way, contrary to my friend’s opinion, a defining label or an inhibitor. And there is help out there. For immediate relief there are many help lines, such as the Samaritans. But treatment for depression can be a slow process; this term my friend will not only be on anti-depressants but she will begin seeing a counsellor, who will hopefully help her far more than I or any number of bumbling well-wishers could. But in trying to understand what she’s going though, I hope I can still help in my own small way.  Besides – I’ll still be there with the big hugs and chocolate anyway.

Flora Carr

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Can Casual Sex At University Ever Work?

Abi Polding argues that casual sex can never work, unless we get rid of the double standards & stereotypes surrounding sex that exist at the moment.

Casual sex – it’s something that goes on all the time at university, and something which many of us will engage in at some point in our lives. However, studies have shown that “women who sleep around at university are ‘more likely to become depressed’”. There are also widespread double standards when it comes to casual sex which lead to an unfair amount of pressure and guilt being placed upon women who choose to have a lot of sexual partners. So why shouldn’t we be allowed to engage in whatever sexual behaviour we want without being judged…?

Photo Credit: jeff o_o via Compfight cc

Sex is something that definitely involves communication, trust and an agreement of what both people want. The problem is that these things really need to be decided on before, and when sex is casual and spontaneous, often one person will see it as more serious than the other, leading to a lack of mutual agreement and, ultimately, meaning that one person gets hurt. These days, it’s often women who seem to get hurt by having casual sex.

I feel that this is due to the double and unrealistic standards in place when it comes to sleeping with people on a casual basis. If a woman sleeps with a lot of men she’s generally seen as a slut. If you need proof of this you only need to look at the kind of opinions being circulated in popular culture today, or even around the people on a university campus. If a man sleeps with a lot of girls he’s often respected by his peers, or seen as a “lad”, someone to be looked up to.

Because of this, girls often have a fixed idea that they need to try and limit their number of sexual partners, or risk being judged by others. Having casual sex is something that could therefore make them feel guilty, and possibly unhappy with the decision they made. Feelings of regret will only contribute to unhappiness, and often girls can feel trapped from this. Basically, casual sex can sometimes lead to you feeling a bit rubbish.

So is there a way to have casual sex as a woman without getting hurt? Biologically, the hormones that are released when we have sex completely work against us, making us form an attachment to our partner without us even realising it. Oxytocin is released during sex, making us “lower our defences and trust people more”, and women produce more of this hormone at the time. Bearing this in mind, it’s easy to see why situations like “friends with benefits” are widely considered not to work. If having casual sex works for you, then great. But for many, it doesn’t seem to end up being ideal.

Sex can be great as long as it’s consensual, safe, and both people agree what they want. The best way to have a happy sex life if you’re single is to make sure you consider what you want before going into anything you may regret later. Personally, I don’t think casual sex can ever work, unless we get rid of the double standards & stereotypes surrounding sex that exist at the moment, and unless both people are completely sure what they want – and let’s face it – at this point in our lives none of us are really 100% sure, right?

 Abi Polding

Is “sleeping around” a sign of insecurity or a healthy freedom of expression? Leave a comment below or write to the Comment team at the Exeposé Comment Facebook Group or on Twitter @CommentExepose.

Isn’t Being in a Sexually Humdrum Relationship More Likely to be Depressing?

Nickie Shobeiry argues that we’ve been under the impression that women can’t have casual sex without there being something inherently wrong with them.

Ah, the 21^st century. A time of liberation, tolerance, decency – until we see yet another article hanging onto the coat-tails of science, with claims to one more ‘Eureka!’-inducing find.

Photo Credit: Leonardo Stigliari via Compfight cc

What’s this fresh nugget of wisdom, you ask? According to the Daily Mail, a study in New York found that women who sleep around at university are more likely to become depressed. Let’s have a look at some of the alleged reasons:

• ‘Unfavourable attitudes towards sex outside of committed relationships.’

Plenty of times have I seen the heavy hand of judgement slap a fellow friend across the face for her night-time knicker-free adventures; however, that same hand is quite often attached to a drivelling imbecile, so what’s the problem? (The problem is decades of ignorance ingrained into our skulls, but I’ll get to that in a moment.)

•  ‘Failure for the hook-up to transition to a romantic relationship.’

Humans are complex. Whilst we cannot assume that every thump of the headboard is the equivalent to wedding bells, we also cannot assume that every hook-up is the free flowing, carnal expression it was meant to be. Feelings can arise like ingrown pubic hairs, but does that mean a woman should buckle on the chastity belt until the circumference of her ring-finger is measured? No.

• ‘Sexually unsatisfying hook-ups.’

Perhaps this is a speculation so wild it’ll give the research team a run for their money, but isn’t being in a sexually humdrum relationship more likely to be depressing, as opposed to a single fling that leaves you with the down-town lady blues? No? Anyone?

For centuries, we’ve been under the impression that women can’t have casual sex without there being something inherently wrong with them. Low self esteem, ‘daddy issues’, amoral heathens – God forbid a woman just wants a little bit of action.

Indeed, we should ask ourselves whether casual sex is sometimes a possible symptom of depression, rather than the root of it. Herding all women who ‘sleep around’ into a ‘possibly depressed’ category is akin to admitting it’s impossible to be a happy individual who enjoys an active sex life (which is, conversely, what we expect of men today, no questions asked – lest they, too, have something inherently wrong with them).

At the end of the day, we’re all adults and (hopefully) capable of not hurting ourselves and those around us with our choices – so why can’t we be trusted to exercise that ability, with or without our underwear around our ankles?

Nickie Shobeiry

Is there a healthy way to engage in casual sex as a woman and why would this differ from the case for men?

Is “sleeping around” a sign of insecurity or a healthy freedom of expression? Leave a comment below or write to the Comment team at the Exeposé Comment Facebook Group or on Twitter @CommentExepose.

Give The Boozing a Break

With the Guild’s alcohol survey having finished last Friday, Kayley Gilbert pushes back against the prevalent student drinking culture and argues that choosing not to drink is normal and might even be better for our health and academic success.

Students and alcohol seem to go together like bread and butter. Many seem to make it their aim each weekend to get even more s**t-faced than the weekend before. As a result of this student life can seem to revolve around pubs and clubs especially, with many in the heart of the student campus and the majority of university outings involving some sort of alcohol plus a drinking game. You know, just in case you weren’t drunk enough already.

“There are people that don’t feel a need to drink themselves into oblivion and would rather remember what happened the night before.”
Photo Credit: TMAB2003 via Compfight cc

Although this is a fun way to relax and create some rather hilarious stories, it’s not for everyone. There are people that don’t feel a need to drink themselves into oblivion and would rather remember what happened the night before. But people tend to shy away from this fact, fearing that they will be labelled ‘boring’ and not invited anywhere again. There is a student culture of drinking that means those who don’t enjoy it, or those who would rather drink in moderation, are the ones that stand out rather than those who drink until they pass out.

Even though drinking is fun, students are at university to get a degree and not to get their stomach pumped. When you’re able to go out every night if you wish and not turn up to lectures because you think no one will notice, it’s possible that students feel they can slip under the radar. This is especially true for students in their first year as many believe it doesn’t count, and that achieving 40% is all they need. But when it comes to applying for internships and jobs later on, students may look back and wish they’d worked harder and drunk slightly less.

Drinking alcohol on a regular basis, which many of us do, won’t only dent an already tight student budget, but has also been proven to cause a rise in stress levels, anxiety and depression. These aren’t issues we want to be dealing with when revising for exams or writing dissertations and shouldn’t be encouraged by drinking large volumes of alcohol every week.

Clearly, university is a huge change. For many students, moving to university is the first time away from their parents for any substantial amount of time. Students often experience homesickness, loneliness and stress in their first year at university and many use alcohol as a form of escapism from this. However, it shouldn’t be forgotten that university is also an important transition into adult life and if drinking a lot on a regular basis becomes normal at the age of 20, it may become a lifelong problem. Students feeling stressed or depressed should try to avoid using alcohol as a way out and find other solutions.

The problem is that drinking has become part of university life. Even those with the best intentions are often pressured into having at least a few. I wouldn’t say the pressure to drink is forceful, but rather unrelenting. Even only having a few can spark encouragement like, “go on, have another” and, “you haven’t been drunk this week, let go” or even, “you’re so boring” which can really make students feel on the edge and excluded. It’s unfair to make people feel different or odd because they don’t want to drink or just don’t want to drink a lot. Not getting drunk isn’t boring. Not getting drunk isn’t strange. It’s this kind of behaviour that pushes even those students that try not to drink too much, to go too far. And yes, everyone drinks too much every now and again, but it’s unfair for students to feel pressured to get wasted every weekend if that’s not what they want.

Not drinking isn’t the end of the world, you can still have fun and you may not feel so homesick or anxious for it! People shouldn’t be pressured into drinking or made to feel bad for sticking to soft drinks, so don’t be the one badgering others to get drunk! Whether you’re drinking or not – have fun!

Kayley Gilbert

For an example of how alcohol can affect your abilities, see below.

Do you feel a pressure to drink on a night out? Can a balance between alcohol consumption and a healthy lifestyle be found? Leave a comment below or write to the Comment team at the Exeposé Comment Facebook Group or on Twitter@CommentExepose.

Oliver Cary: an increase in mental illness among students

In his latest column, Oliver Cary assesses the rise of instances of mental health illness amongst students.

The Mental Health Foundation has found that 50% of students have dealt with clinical anxiety at some point. Picture credits: Lyssa Darkness

University brings independence, and this is often associated with freedom, personal decision-making and endless opportunities for enjoyment. For many students, university is the stepping stone between late childhood and adulthood. It is a balance between study, socialising and first experiences with the ‘real world’.

But university can also bring pressure to graduate with a 2:1 or higher in a degree, to constantly improve a CV, or to work towards overall employability. Many employers value other skills such as communication, leadership and enterprise in their candidates as well as suitable work experience gained during your university career.

Education journalist Mike Baker wrote in his BBC article that employers are looking at these ‘soft skills’ second to academic requirements. He states that Deloitte LLP, employer of approximately 1, 200 graduates each year, have basic requirements of a 2:1 or higher and then hopefuls need other transferable skills and experiences to make it through the next screening process.

This increasing pressure of employment that runs concurrently with academic deadlines and financial concerns can be hard to cope with for an independent young adult. Layla Haidrani, a student at Kent University and contributor to The Independent, views the academic pressure, financial difficulties and anxiety of job guarantee as a major contributor to the increasing figures of mental health in students.

Does an extended use of social media contribute to negative feelings of self? Picture credits: Eminent Youth

Some students suffer from isolation, loneliness and chronic anxiety after loosing their mechanism for coping with the pressures of university life. Isolation can be increased by the extended use of social media, and in particular this generation’s dedication to purport a particular image of their university life and activities. It is difficult to feel happy when seeing friends having fun at their respective university, whilst you struggle with the pressures of your own.

Chronic anxiety and depression is a global health issue. Carol Midgley writes in The Times that depressive disorders will be the biggest international health issue by 2030, according to the World Health Organisation. At universities it is believed to be increasing also. The Times suggests that one in four students will encounter or experience a mental health issue. Similarly the Mental Health Foundation has found that 50% of students have dealt with clinical anxiety, and 10% clinical depression.

Whilst it seems staggering that university, a place of socialising, ‘partying’ and also extensive opportunity, can be so challenging for individuals, it is important that each institution recongnises the need for student support. Universities have counsellors, tutors and recently ‘Wellbeing Day’ on the 20th February. Symptoms are described on studentsagainstdepression.org as a combination of constantly feeling ‘low, sad, anxious or empty’ or all of these at once. Everyone deals with anxiety daily, and it is not to say feeling the pressure of university means that one is experiencing clinical anxiety or even depression.

Charlotte, a student, has battled with depression as a teenager. She explains to Carol Midgley that she was a perfectionist and placed pressure upon herself to excel academically. She realised that she didn’t seem to have a protective layer or coping mechanism to help her deal with the anxiety she felt. The hardest part was voicing her feelings, and admitting that she was struggling with her daily life. Now hoping to restart university this September, she believes that speaking to a GP helped her and ‘she didn’t necessarily know the answers, she was just kind and listened. That was what I needed’.

The pleasures and pressures of university are new to all students and it is part of our emotional development to come to terms with these feelings. Lucie Russell, from YoungMinds, understands that ‘young people need to build a resilience to navigate the world they live in’. At times this is challenging, and one should always use friends, family and professionals to help themselves become a strong and independent young person ready to engage and participate in society. All students face strenuous times, but they are not alone, and seeking help is not a sign of weakness but of intended self-belief and recovery.

The Time to Change campaign in Birmingham aims to get the public talking about mental health in a more open way. Picture credits: Time to Change Campaign

Fighting mental health issues alone seem insurmountable. Charlotte and others found sharing their difficulties with family, GPs or university counsellors as the hardest but most helpful solution. Isolation and anxiety can be dealt with, and recognising this is the first step to recovery.

The unavoidable solitude: dealing with loneliness at university

Undoubtedly university is one of the best opportunities people can get at meeting new people. It is full of people from all walks of life, all backgrounds, different interests and different beliefs. It is also one of the easiest environments to meet people. Everyone converging on one location all in the same situation, wanting to make new friends and so naturally it takes much less effort to meet new people especially if you are in first year.

Photo credit: Bert Kaufmann

Even for second and third years, there are a wealth of opportunities to meet new people through societies and clubs.  However, even when surrounded by all these different people all of the time, all of us will feel lonely at some point. It’s the strangest kind of loneliness because it is hard to explain and hard to describe but nevertheless it is there.

For me, university has been one of the best things to happen to me. It has given me confidence in myself, it has given me some incredible friends, helped me discover interests I didn’t know I had and allowed my old interests a chance to flourish. Despite this, there have been moments of feeling very isolated for all sorts of reasons, be they relationships, friendships, work or any of the other massive stresses university life puts on people.

University, for most people, is their first real taste of independence and being in control of oneself. It is exciting, yet terrifying. So when things go wrong, it is so easy just to blame yourself and isolate yourself which is when the loneliness kicks in. Then when people ask what’s wrong and the answer is “I feel lonely”, it can be difficult to explain. These pressures can become so overwhelming that it is easy to get swallowed up in them. Sometimes they can be dealt with and other times you may just want to hide away. It’s not a feeling that can be ignored, because it can spread and consume even more of your life.

Photo credit: bottled_void

So how do you deal with a feeling that is so difficult to explain? It is tough, but everyone goes through it at some point; everyone will feel either lonely or homesick in some way whilst they are university. This means they can sympathise, and so it’s best just to explain as much as is possible and talk it out, no matter how ridiculous or unfounded the feelings may seem. There are multitudes of reasons why people can feel lonely outside of the obvious ones of relationships and friends. A person can have all the friends in the world, but still feel like something is missing.

Talking about it helps to identify what it is that is missing, or at the very least it can be cathartic and release some of the pent-up stress. Smaller, simpler ways can also be found. Sometimes, it is the little things that make the difference: going for a run, watching a film, listening to music or pretty much anything you enjoy. Talking may not always help for some people; instead, it is better just to be distracted by interests and even work (if that is not the source of the problem). The best healer of all is time – be distracted for a few days and spend time with people, and eventually it will go away or calm down.

If this is not the case, then the university has a massive array of support that goes beyond loneliness and can help with more serious cases. This is university, the best time to meet people, and an experience that should not be regretted.

For more information on support the university offers click on the link below:
Dealing with Mental Illness at University

Alex Phelps
Online Games Editor

Your own worst enemy? Dealing with mental illness at university

Depression can be isolating and lonely.
Photo Credit: Roberto Trm

It used to be taboo to mention mental illness, for fear of being judged, misunderstood, or labelled ‘crazy’. People are more accepting of the terms now – depression, anxiety disorders, panic attacks and so on – but for the individual, it can often still be difficult to vocalise what’s going on in their mind.

As such, it is quite difficult for me to say that I have experienced both depression and anxiety issues. I’d like to think that this isn’t obvious to those who know me, since no one wants to be known for the problems they have with their own mind, but deep down I know these two things can define me as much as any one of my personality traits.

University is a breeding ground for depression. With financial stress, deadlines, looming unemployment and relationship pressures, it’s no surprise. One in four students is said to experience depression while at university, and while we’re incredibly lucky to have such a supportive pastoral care system in place at this university, it’s a sad fact that we need it so much in the first place.

But what can we do to change these statistics? It seems unlikely that the university would offer leniency with regard to hand-in dates, and extremely doubtful that landlords would let up on their extortionate rent rates. On the other hand, expecting students to deal with such immense stress for three years of their life without any support or help seems unfair. We need all the help we can get, as mental illness is debilitating, isolated and incredibly hard to deal with alone.

Self-help books can be a valuable resource.
Photo Credit: jronaldlee

The counselling service at the university is an invaluable resource for students that need help. We also have Voice, the student-run listening service, open late at night, and always ready and willing to lend an ear. Outside of the university, there are a number of other aids to make sure no one has to deal with mental illness alone, which are detailed at the bottom of this article. However, it takes a great deal of bravery to take action against depression and other mental issues, and sometimes the hardest thing is to admit that there’s a problem.

Because of this, our university could do more to advertise the support it offers to its students. While I know that there is an incredible welfare system in place, I also know that that support system is criminally underused and unknown by the majority of the student body, and many still suffer from mental illness alone and in silence. Increasing awareness about the services and help available will make it easier for those in need to get in touch.

With the addition of the Mood Disorders building to our campus, and with the recent changes within the Counselling Service (now the Wellbeing Centre, and relocated to opposite the Student Health Centre), it is clear that the stigma of mental illness is fading. It is only a small step now for the university to really engage with those in need of these services, and ensure that everyone knows that there is always a safety net, and that no one has to go without the help they need.

If you, or someone you know, needs someone to talk to, whether about mental illness, or anything at all, here are some useful contacts:

Samaritans: 08457 909090 (24h)
Voice: 01392 724000 or 4000 from a campus phone (8pm-8am)
Student Wellbeing Centre: 01392 724381
Mind: www.mind.org.uk
SANE:www.sane.org.uk
To Write Love On Her Arms: www.twloha.com

Kate Gray
Online Comment Editor

Website of the week: 1000 awesome things

Photo credits to lmnop88a

According to our good friend Wikipedia, there is such thing as the most depressing day of the year- Blue Monday. There’s even a mathematical formula to try and prove it.

But hope is not lost. Days are getting longer, the weather is getting colder and the deadlines are building up again. If we were to make this into some sort of maths thing, we’d say that this means there is more time to do your work, so go outside and play in the snow! Oh wait…it’s melted.

Hope is still not lost! Someone has a website that is guaranteed to make you appreciate the little things in life, like getting the perfect milk to cereal ratio in your breakfast or when someone lands on the hotel you just built in Monopoly. Maybe even high-fiving a baby?

Thanks to www.1000awesomethings.com, you need never have a Blue Monday ever again. Winter can be just as fun as summer. Watch, and we’ll prove it.

Kate Gray & Kate Townend