A Day in the Life of: A Pokémon Trainer

‘Welcome to the world of Pokémon!’ he said.

‘You’re alright to go on an adventure at age 10’ he said.

Thanks to Professor Oak, I am now stuck in a darkened cave in the middle of nowhere being attacked by Zubats every other step and sentient rocks with arms which keep trying to crack my skull open with their giant boulder fists.

And my Squirtle has fainted.

And my Clefairy is poisoned so I have to hear this constant ‘BLAR BLAR BLAR’ every time I move and I have no Antidotes, since I spent all my money on Pokéballs trying to catch this damn Clefairy.

Which, by the way, took me about an hour of stumbling around in the dark to find, and it turns out it only knows Sing.

Plus, when I eventually get out of this hellhole, that dick of a rival will probably pop out of nowhere with his over-levelled Ivysaur to smack my crippled team into the ground, just to send me BACK through the cave and into the Pokémon Centre back in Pewter City just to go through this ALL over again. Also, he has the balls to take $100 off me for the trouble.

Should have called him Ballbag instead of Gary.

I’ve also had to deal with a goddamn terrorist organisation which is trying to steal Pokémon, who thinks it’s okay to try and attack a ten year old who is lost, cold, has hardly any money and who only wants to go home.

Why am I even out travelling? Shouldn’t I be at school instead of risking my life capturing creatures to fight for fun?

Also, the Gym Leader I just fought has a GIANT SNAKE MADE OF ROCKS while I have a small turtle which can spit water from its mouth, a pigeon and a mouse which shoots electricity from its face. How is that fair?!

Plus, according to the Pokédex (which is a useless device as it magically has all of the entries already within its memory but only unlocks when I see a Pokémon) you can only catch one up near Lavender Town in the Rock Tunnel and he has no means of getting there. This Gym Leader thing is a load of crap.

 

Next thing I know, I’ll have to fight a crime boss and all of his executives, as well as dealing with very embodiments of the elements whilst also trying to capture a genetic experiment gone horribly wrong.

Also, what is the deal with Trainers? I am just going for a casual stroll through the fields with my Pokémon and they want to fight me for money? No, I don’t want to fight you, I’m just going to the shops to get some bread.

I don’t care about your Rattata being in the top percent, just go away.

Furthermore, why don’t you have a name? Why are you just called ‘Youngster’ or ‘Bug Catcher’ and why don’t you move or sleep or even eat?! What is wrong with people in Kanto?

Okay, made it to the end of the cave and I can see Cerulean City in sight. I can rest up my Pokémon, go to the PokeMart and then continue on. At least I only have 7 more Gym Leaders to fight. And the Elite Four. And then the Champion.

If Gary’s the champion, I’m going to be so pissed.

 

Sam Foxall

Former Nintendo President Hiroshi Yamauchi dies aged 85

Nintendo released an official statement yesterday that the company “is in the mourning… from the sad loss of the former Nintendo president Mr Hiroshi Yamauchi, who sadly passed away this morning.”

The company then revealed that he passed away at a hospital in central Japan, due to pneumonia. His funeral will take place on Sunday.

Yamauchi first joined Nintendo in 1949, and served as president until he stepped down in 2002. He is widely credited with transforming the company’s business from small-time trading cards to  global electronic empire.

Under his leadership Nintendo produced global hits such as the NES, GameBoy, and Nintendo 64, as well as legendary franchises like Mario, Pokémon, and Zelda.

His work with Shigeru Miyamoto in the 1980s paved the way for the arcade game market in the US, and the infamous Donkey Kong remains one of the most successful arcade titles of all time.

 

Becky Mullen, Games Editor

My Life in Gaming: Gameboy, £80 Pokemon machine

Image Credit: videogamesinteractive.com

Gaming on the go! A revolutionary turn in the gaming industry, with the Gameboy and Gameboy Color at the forefront.

As far as I remember, every kid in the world had one except for me. My best friend? Yep he had one. The kid that smelt of garlic all the time? Of course he does. A Brazilian kid living in a favella surrounding Rio De Janeiro? Naturally.

But not me. I had to become a professional “over the shoulder” onlooker, doomed to struggle with sun glare and to forever be chastised for being a back seat gamer.

I was sometimes promoted to occasional player to get my Gameboy fix, but one time I stretched my luck.

I was left alone with my friend’s Gameboy color and a plethora of games, with only one instruction: “Do not play Pokémon, you’ll copy over my save!”. But that was the best game, the one they always played and the one I was never allowed to. There was at least 20 other games for me to choose from, but the sirens call from the Pokémon Red’s cartridge was too much.

“Copy over his save? Pfft! Does he not realise you can have multiple saves? What an idiot! I’ll just make a new one and he can keep playing and he’ll realise what a fool he’s been for not letting me play.” Oh what an arrogant little child I was. I thought I knew everything there was to know, but alas there was only one save and I copied over it.

With my Gameboy privileges revoked I was forced to beg and plead my parents for a Gameboy color, it being the most important thing in the my life at the time.

Image Credit: Mikenieto

But come Christmas, I was in for an even bigger treat. The present that was not only left till last, but was hidden behind the sofa! The Gameboy Advance! Now I was the hot stuff! I remember walking through town one day, and hearing enviable whispers as I sauntered around with my bright purple Gameboy, and the sound of Pokémon Sapphire blasting out.

It was the greatest thing in the world…but at the same time, it was pretty terrible.

It had no backlight and so was awful in darkness and in the shine of the sun, the battery life was about 15 hours meaning there was barely one weekends worth of playing, and probably worst of all, Pokémon was too damn good! I mean, I had so many games from both Gameboy color and advance, but it didn’t matter how critically acclaimed the other games were, 14 of my 15 hours was spent on Pokémon! But what was it that made Pokémon so addictive? Is it really that good of a game?

Image Credit: gamefaqs.com

Pokémon is one of the most accessible JRPG out there, with simple and easy to grasp game mechanics and a fairly simple story that follows the TV anime of the time. Therefore the basic Pokémon universe was already well defined and the concepts for the game to work off of were already understood by it’s audience.

Furthermore, your character is easy to project yourself onto. A silent protagonist that wants to be the very best. That’s essentially everyone’s dream and ambition. These factors made the Pokémon series easy to pick up, but what made everyone come back each generation?

The story, the Pokémon, the environments varied by such small degrees it felt like we were buying the same game each time with a graphical update. But really it has nothing to do with all those things. Sure the extra Pokémon are nice, and the new areas are cool, and the more vibrant colours are less grey.

But I come back because for some bizarre reason, I become attached to my top 6 dream team pokémon. I revel in watching their stats increase, and reach mild orgasms when they evolve. And when I finally beat that gym leader who insists on confusing my pokémon at every chance, I feel like I’ve actually done something productive at the end of my gameboy’s 15 hour lifespan.

Tom Seaman