A Comparison in Self-Aggrandisement: Pretentious Game vs. Angry Birds Go!

Narrative

Pretentious Game tells the story of a little blue square that falls in love, and his quest to prove himself. I can’t tell you more than that without a large spoiler warning, which you wouldn’t want, but if there’s a prize for becoming emotionally attached to a square…well, actually, Thomas Was Alone would probably win. But Pretentious would be in the audience. ABG, on the other hand, feels the need to stitch a narrative to each race for no reason. Mario Kart didn’t need a story to explain why beating Bowser and Wario on Rainbow Road would save the Mushroom Kingdom – ABG should take note.

Pretentious: 1

Angry Birds Go!: 0

 

Gameplay

Pretentious Game’s jump from Flash games to portable gaming really makes use of the touch-screen hardware combined with ironic and punny instructions. While you’re still a lab rat, pushing the right buttons at the right time, it makes you feel more like Brain than Pinky. However, there is one level where the implied instructions have absolutely no bearing on how you beat the level, and being pulled out of the game to look at a walkthrough is never good. ABG wins because the intuitive tilt controls and ease between tilting and drifting make it a really smooth switch for players from handheld racing games, especially in such a gorgeously designed environment (which I suppose is easier to pull off when Rovio is spending more money on looking good than most students pay in University fees.)

Pretentious: 1

Angry Birds Go!: 1

 

In-App Purchases

For 69p you can buy chapters two and three of Pretentious Game, which actually provides variation of the story rather than just more of the same. The end of Chapter Three is a great example of using the mechanics of the game as a metaphor for character development. For £34.99 in ABG, you can buy a kart. One kart. And it doesn’t tell you the cost of the kart until you’ve put in your account information, so I’m expecting stories of children wiping out their parents’ credit cards on coins and gems (why do birds need gems to build cars?) within the week.

Pretentious: 2

Angry Birds Go!: 1

 

Can I actually play the game?

Pretentious Game loaded up on my iPhone 4S immediately. Angry Birds Go! crashed five times and wouldn’t let me play until I closed all other apps, turned it off, and turned it back on again.

Pretentious: 3

Angry Birds Go!: 1

 

Final Result:

Pretentious Game:  ★★★☆☆

Angry Birds Go!: ★★☆☆☆ (Just to be kind)

 

 

Adam Smith (@webnym)

It's not Wii, it's U

Gemma Joyce, Games Editor, waves so long to the Wii U and asks if there’s any place for Nintendo in the next gen market.

Gaming forums went wild recently when ASDA announced it had slashed the price of Nintendo’s Wii-U down to £149, making it £100 cheaper than when it was released around six months ago.

Things aren’t looking great for the Japanese gaming giant in terms of sales of their latest console, as it was reported that up until April it had sold less than five hundred thousand units. Despite the original Wii console selling around four million.

With the next generations of the Playstation and Xbox approaching fast, Nintendo is running out of time to get the Wii-U off the ground. This will not be an easy task.

The new CEO of Nintendo in America, Satoru Iwata, recently admitted the company felt “deeply responsible for not having tried hard enough to have consumers understand the product,” and also blamed the terrible sales figures on the lack of a defining title that did what Wii Sports did for the original Wii console.

Wii Sports was able to show off many of the original Wii’s capabilities to consumers who had never been in touch with such a device. The Wii-U’s ‘defining’ title could have been ZOMBIU, featuring a kickass trailer and plenty of intrigue.

However, the ambitious move to allow an 18+ game to be one of the main drivers of the Wii-U’s advertising campaign seemed to do more to alienate the original Wii’s primary audience than it did to attract a new one.

That’s not to say that the Wii-U’s family games weren’t a prominent part of its appeal, but even the slightest gritting-up of a console who’s predecessor was at its best when the family was accidently hitting each other with unnecessary tennis racket clip ons doesn’t seem to have been the best idea.

Following rumours that Nintendo are working to secure conversions of IOS games to be compatible with their new console, it does seem that efforts to boost sales are being put forward.

However, the appeal of IOS games on the big screen is questionable and it looks like Nintendo’s drawing board will be further strained if that’s all they can come up with.

Terrible sales are definitely hindering the amount of games made available for it, with the developers of the upcoming street-fighter Skull Girls tweeting that a Wii-U release would be unlikely if sales didn’t improve.

Nintendo announced that they would be revealing a new 3D Mario game that is, reportedly, “bigger than any Mario game to date” at this year’s E3 Expo in June, but keeping players waiting for news on the big releases of the year hasn’t proven a great plan so far.

Moreover, with many viewing the Wii-U as nothing but a glorified iPad, Microsoft has already released a potential rival that transforms the customer’s smart phone, tablet or PC into a controller. This doesn’t require the purchase of a new console, and is a more convenient alternative to the chunky Wii-U handset.

If the Wii-U is to survive alongside the next wave of big consoles it will have to do more to incentivise developers to make games that can utilise its quite specific hardware and give more to those who have already bought it.

They say that most products don’t beat the hype, but around the Wii-U there really isn’t any.

 

Gemma Joyce, Games Editor

Temple Run returns

As if running away from those screeching monkeys and sliding under skulls and vaulting walls wasn’t scary enough in the original Temple Run, Guy Dangerous’ quest to keep his hands on that ruddy idol has got a whole lot harder with the release of Temple Run 2. For those who are unfamiliar with the game set up, the aim of the game is to run as far as possible along the temple walls by swiping left or right to turn, up and down to jump and duck, and tilting to collect those all important coins. Coins mean upgrades. Upgrades mean running further. Running further means getting more coins and more upgrades. Addictive, right? Seems pretty simple from the outset, but factor in randomly generated obstacles to navigate and the potential to be eaten alive by your pursuer (only if you’re slow or stupid enough to trip) and you’ve got gaming gold.

Pictures by Shutter_Hand Mobile

Temple Run 2 swaps monkeys for a scary skull gorilla, and boring wooden planks and walls for forests, rivers, bridges and mines. There’s a lot more to look at and a lot more to avoid – the fact that the game now changes dimension because the path isn’t a straight line makes the experience a lot more fun. Factor in the addition of sliding down zip wires and trying your luck ducking in a runaway mining cart (that actually forces you to tilt… Which I always tried to avoid because I’m rubbish) and you’ve got even more reason to keep hitting “Run Again.” That’s partly what’s so successful about this game. While the time it takes you to sprint your way towards 10 000 metres is in itself short, the compulsion you feel to try and run further each time means you’re guaranteed to play for a lot longer than those five runs you promised yourself as a break during your work. Ooops.

It’s not all plain sailing. The app ironically runs slowly on my iPhone 4 (maybe I’m the one in need of a system update or a general upgrade?!), meaning that a lot of the time it’s easy to die simply because the game hasn’t been quick enough to register my swiping and tilting. But hey, that just makes hit “Run Again” to try and get further… And plus, there’s always time for free future updates right? The volume of additional features and improvements added to the original Temple Run made it a pleasure to keep playing up until the drumming became unbearable. Hopefully Imangi will do the same again. If not, turn the volume off.

Kitty Howie, Online Lifestyle Editor