A Day in the Life of: Link

Image Credit: coastdigital.co.uk

“Listen!”

“Listen!”

“Listen!”

And when I actually do listen, I get this: “There’s a mysterious cloud over Death Mountain…”

I mean seriously, we’ve walking towards Death Mountain for the whole day.

I’ve been beating off Stachildren with this tiny letter-opener of a sacred ‘Kokiri Treasure’, and you come out with that?! Well thank you. You want to know what I think?

‘Hrrit!’ Dammit.

Sometimes I get so mad that I just have to cut things. Anything. Every little bit of grass I see. One time I got so mad that I just walked into someone’s house and threw every vase, smashed every pot and stole every rupee that appeared. And they just SMILED. What is wrong with people?

I went to Hyrule Castle the other day to file a complaint to Princess Zelda, but she didn’t even care about my problems – didn’t even let me get a word in edgeways.

Rather, she shoved my nose up against a window and made me look at this man she’d been spying on. Apparently he was up to no good and she didn’t trust him. Bit harsh if you ask me!

He’s the only male Gerudo for 100 years so I’m told, and he turned out ginger! Poor guy. Cut him some slack.

But before I could grumble some kind of response, Zelda just grabbed my hand and drew a triangle on it, claiming I was gifted by the Gods. The Gods!

As if. I’m an atheist darling.

And stop saying that you’ve been gifted with wisdom. You’ve been gifted with something, but it certainly isn’t that.

I can’t believe this is the girl everyone confuses me with. It’s insulting. Here I am running around doing all the hard work, and the whole thing is called ‘The Legend of ZELDA.’

All she does is go on and on about Triforces and sages and other such nonsense, eventually needing to be saving. And somehow I’m the girl. Right.

Image Credit: fanpop.com

Screw this. I’m going to the pub. Seven years in the Temple of Time ought to do me some good.

Don’t wait up for me – I crammed a fairy into this tiny bottle earlier, so I’ll be fine.

 

Ben Gilbert, Lifestyle Editor

News: A Nerd's Eye View of Gaming 22/04/13

New Zelda coming to 3DS, set in SNES game world

Link will return in a handheld adventure set for release later this year. The game will be a sequel to the 1991 SNES title A Link to the Past, returning to the traditional top-down perspective of the old games.

 

Image credit: nintendoeverything.com

Straight from the mouth of president of Nintendo America, Reggie Fils-Aime, the game is said to “reinvigorate the 2D world of the past” utilising the depth of the 3DS’s screen. While the game takes place in the same same game world as the SNES title, it will feature all new dungeons and introduce new puzzle features.

One such mechanic, as seen in the trailer, is Link’s ability to become a sketch on the wall, allowing navigation around the space to discover new pathways and routes.

From the looks of it, the new title is going to be much more focused on puzzles and platforming than previous titles, with the trailer showing off some of the obstacles you can run in to.

Mirror’s Edge for Oculus Rift induces vertigo in hundreds

Possibly one of the most terrifying games to play on the device, first-person rooftop free-runner Mirror’s Edge has been modded for play on the 3D virtual reality headset Oculus rift.

Image credit: Marcus Beard

It’s a pretty terrifying concept and it’s not something I’d ever like to try. Given the headset has been described as like “like doing acid” by reporters, missing a jump and falling fifty stories to your death doesn’t sound particularly appealing. Unless you like that kind of thing. If you’re a bit weird.

The Oculus Rift was unveiled in 2012, and is currently shipping ‘development kits’ – mainly to people who aren’t developments. The project raised $2.4 million on kickstarter, promising the first true, immersive virtual reality experience in the form of a in low latency head tracking and 110-degree field of view.

For 300 USD, you too can experience the gut-wrenching terror of plummeting to your death.

Computer programmed to learn to play NES games, exploits bugs in cartridges

Want the satisfaction of seeing the end credits roll, but don’t want to have the challenge of actually completing games?

No?

Well neither does Tom Murphy, even if his evolutionary algorithm, playfun, can teach a computer to play Super Mario. His new algorithm is more of an impressive feat of computer science, proving that it can be done, even if not providing a practical use.

Starting with a program that would simply mash buttons randomly, Murphy evolved his algorithm to become more and more proficient at playing NES games, specifically Super Mario. The algorithm works best when dealing with side-scrolling platformers, where there is clear progression in linear space.

Not only does Murphy’s algorithm play through games much further than the runs he uses to ‘train’ the program, but it also manages to find and exploit bugs. For example, did you know that mario can stomp goombas in mid air, as long as he is travelling downwards? Well, playfun does.

For a more detailed explanation and examples of the algorithm applied to other games, watch the video above.

 

Marcus Beard

Website of the week – satirical site

Returning the Screw

Just in case you didn’t have enough material to use as a procrastination tool, from now on we will publish ‘Website of the week’. Whether it be satirical, cute or downright silly, send us a link and we’ll see if we can make your favourite site the new site to read on campus.

This week’s site is Cracked.

A satirical site with hours of wonderfully useless facts and videos. Knock yourselves out.

(Don’t forget to use the comment box below!)

Natasha Baker 

(note that Exepose Online cannot be held responsible for content on external websites as they are beyond our control. At the time of going to edit there was no content on the website deeemed to be unacceptable by the Online Moderator)