The unavoidable solitude: dealing with loneliness at university

Undoubtedly university is one of the best opportunities people can get at meeting new people. It is full of people from all walks of life, all backgrounds, different interests and different beliefs. It is also one of the easiest environments to meet people. Everyone converging on one location all in the same situation, wanting to make new friends and so naturally it takes much less effort to meet new people especially if you are in first year.

Photo credit: Bert Kaufmann

Even for second and third years, there are a wealth of opportunities to meet new people through societies and clubs.  However, even when surrounded by all these different people all of the time, all of us will feel lonely at some point. It’s the strangest kind of loneliness because it is hard to explain and hard to describe but nevertheless it is there.

For me, university has been one of the best things to happen to me. It has given me confidence in myself, it has given me some incredible friends, helped me discover interests I didn’t know I had and allowed my old interests a chance to flourish. Despite this, there have been moments of feeling very isolated for all sorts of reasons, be they relationships, friendships, work or any of the other massive stresses university life puts on people.

University, for most people, is their first real taste of independence and being in control of oneself. It is exciting, yet terrifying. So when things go wrong, it is so easy just to blame yourself and isolate yourself which is when the loneliness kicks in. Then when people ask what’s wrong and the answer is “I feel lonely”, it can be difficult to explain. These pressures can become so overwhelming that it is easy to get swallowed up in them. Sometimes they can be dealt with and other times you may just want to hide away. It’s not a feeling that can be ignored, because it can spread and consume even more of your life.

Photo credit: bottled_void

So how do you deal with a feeling that is so difficult to explain? It is tough, but everyone goes through it at some point; everyone will feel either lonely or homesick in some way whilst they are university. This means they can sympathise, and so it’s best just to explain as much as is possible and talk it out, no matter how ridiculous or unfounded the feelings may seem. There are multitudes of reasons why people can feel lonely outside of the obvious ones of relationships and friends. A person can have all the friends in the world, but still feel like something is missing.

Talking about it helps to identify what it is that is missing, or at the very least it can be cathartic and release some of the pent-up stress. Smaller, simpler ways can also be found. Sometimes, it is the little things that make the difference: going for a run, watching a film, listening to music or pretty much anything you enjoy. Talking may not always help for some people; instead, it is better just to be distracted by interests and even work (if that is not the source of the problem). The best healer of all is time – be distracted for a few days and spend time with people, and eventually it will go away or calm down.

If this is not the case, then the university has a massive array of support that goes beyond loneliness and can help with more serious cases. This is university, the best time to meet people, and an experience that should not be regretted.

For more information on support the university offers click on the link below:
Dealing with Mental Illness at University

Alex Phelps
Online Games Editor

Your own worst enemy? Dealing with mental illness at university

Depression can be isolating and lonely.
Photo Credit: Roberto Trm

It used to be taboo to mention mental illness, for fear of being judged, misunderstood, or labelled ‘crazy’. People are more accepting of the terms now – depression, anxiety disorders, panic attacks and so on – but for the individual, it can often still be difficult to vocalise what’s going on in their mind.

As such, it is quite difficult for me to say that I have experienced both depression and anxiety issues. I’d like to think that this isn’t obvious to those who know me, since no one wants to be known for the problems they have with their own mind, but deep down I know these two things can define me as much as any one of my personality traits.

University is a breeding ground for depression. With financial stress, deadlines, looming unemployment and relationship pressures, it’s no surprise. One in four students is said to experience depression while at university, and while we’re incredibly lucky to have such a supportive pastoral care system in place at this university, it’s a sad fact that we need it so much in the first place.

But what can we do to change these statistics? It seems unlikely that the university would offer leniency with regard to hand-in dates, and extremely doubtful that landlords would let up on their extortionate rent rates. On the other hand, expecting students to deal with such immense stress for three years of their life without any support or help seems unfair. We need all the help we can get, as mental illness is debilitating, isolated and incredibly hard to deal with alone.

Self-help books can be a valuable resource.
Photo Credit: jronaldlee

The counselling service at the university is an invaluable resource for students that need help. We also have Voice, the student-run listening service, open late at night, and always ready and willing to lend an ear. Outside of the university, there are a number of other aids to make sure no one has to deal with mental illness alone, which are detailed at the bottom of this article. However, it takes a great deal of bravery to take action against depression and other mental issues, and sometimes the hardest thing is to admit that there’s a problem.

Because of this, our university could do more to advertise the support it offers to its students. While I know that there is an incredible welfare system in place, I also know that that support system is criminally underused and unknown by the majority of the student body, and many still suffer from mental illness alone and in silence. Increasing awareness about the services and help available will make it easier for those in need to get in touch.

With the addition of the Mood Disorders building to our campus, and with the recent changes within the Counselling Service (now the Wellbeing Centre, and relocated to opposite the Student Health Centre), it is clear that the stigma of mental illness is fading. It is only a small step now for the university to really engage with those in need of these services, and ensure that everyone knows that there is always a safety net, and that no one has to go without the help they need.

If you, or someone you know, needs someone to talk to, whether about mental illness, or anything at all, here are some useful contacts:

Samaritans: 08457 909090 (24h)
Voice: 01392 724000 or 4000 from a campus phone (8pm-8am)
Student Wellbeing Centre: 01392 724381
Mind: www.mind.org.uk
SANE:www.sane.org.uk
To Write Love On Her Arms: www.twloha.com

Kate Gray
Online Comment Editor