Gemma Joyce discusses her experiences of sexism this summer, and the differences between how sexism is dealt with on the internet and in everyday life.
The university bubble is a great one. It’s vibrant and varied, and everything is up for debate and discussion. After enjoying my first year writing sassy essays on feminism and taking part in the fiery debate over whether The Sun should be banned from sale on campus I returned, feeling far more aware of contemporary issues, to my beloved hometown ready to start my summer working a busy bar in a family pub.
My uni bubble promptly burst.
Whether or not we are studying ‘Degrees in Misogyny’ as The Daily Mail would like its readership to believe, acceptable social conduct seems to differ quite significantly between my generally polite and considerate peers in the lecture theatre to the ‘polite and considerate’ customers that insist on calling female bar staff ‘gorgeous’, ‘babe’ or ‘lovey’ without affording similarly demeaning names to their male colleagues.
From not taking food recommendations seriously because “she’s a girl, of course she’d recommend the chocolate brownie,” to more hurtful remarks about your looks or unfounded and unnecessary assumptions voiced about your sexual preferences and behaviours, sexism is undoubtedly alive and kicking in the workplace, most blatantly in environments where alcohol is present. Such behaviour from customers not only ruins your day but leaves you feeling quite helpless, when it’s generally accepted as part of the job and refusing to serve such customers just makes matters worse.
Of course, sexism in the workplace is not breaking news. But there is a great divide between dealing with sexism in the ‘real world’ and sexism online that needs to be addressed.
The summer has seen an enormous amount of debate over issues regarding sexism, much of which has taken place online.
Laura Bates’ Everyday Sexism Project has continued to gain popularity and media attention with more and more users of all walks of life adding their stories describing sexist behaviour they are subjected to on a daily basis. The press went wild when it was made public knowledge that the internet, particularly on sites like Twitter, was becoming a hotbed of sexist hatred channelled through anonymous insults and threats of violence.
This was highlighted in particular by acclaimed classicist Mary Beard and feminist campaigner Caroline Criado-Perez, who led the campaign to have Jane Austen printed on the £10 note. Both were made victims of hundreds of abusive messages, and were very vocal in showcasing their negative experiences to the international press. Next came Caitlin Moran’s brief campaign #twittersilence, which aimed to boycott Twitter for a day in order to bring their attention to the issue of unacceptable threats being made with a shoddy process of reporting them. The Twitter silence divided opinion, but the message was clear: Stop the threats!
The internet is a powerful tool in discussing such issues, and the massive interest generated by recent events has led service providers to at least consider tougher security processes for their well meaning users. Trolling will hopefully, one day, become a thing of the past.
What will be interesting is whether sexism will be addressed in the ‘real world’ before or after it is in cyberspace. Current public anger towards the Twitter trolls being named and shamed all over the newspapers is not reflected in the night club where sexual assault goes unreported weekly, at a busy bus stop where a car full of lads drives past beeping and shouting “Get your tits out!” to a bystander, or in the accountancy firm where the female staff are paid less than their male counterparts. Of course not every troll is subject to this naming and shaming process, but their act of idiocy is put on record. Every day sexism is not recorded even fractionally compared to that experienced on the internet.
While anger is growing at sexism on the internet, I can’t boycott my job because I’m unhappy that some customers leave me feeling uncomfortable and angry. Nor can I shout “Why don’t you take your sexist comments and FUCK OFF. Hashtag shouting back!” – I can’t imagine the families in the restaurant jumping to their feet in applause, metaphorically ‘retweeting’ and ‘liking.’ I would simply lose my job.
I long for the day when a sexist comment is considered more rude than not saying “please” after ordering a drink, or leaving food all over the table when leaving a restaurant.
My point is that “shouting back,” the phrase Twitter uses to describe the act of correcting an act of sexism, is much harder in person than it is online, particularly when your job is on the line. My online self would happily condemn a sexist comment made in the real world or on the internet, but sadly my real life self struggling to fund my student lifestyle remains at a loss at dealing with sexism at work.
Gemma Joyce
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