This Is The Reason You Will Write Your Essay

Nod your head if this is a familiar situation: you’ve got an essay and you just can’t write it.

It doesn’t matter how many ‘study’ playlists you make or how many times you close Facebook, it’s just not happening. Whether it’s a Word doc that’s sitting feebly blank or a Google drive doc that’s miserably word-free, there appears to be no writing tool in the world that will actually let you get your essay done.

And this is where Exeposé Lifestyle can step in and help out. Somehow, while procrastinating wildly, we managed to stumble across an online tool that not only is going to save our academic lives, but yours too.

Meet www.writeordie.com

Image credit: Dr Wicked

TIP: If the web app isn’t working for you, delete “oldandbusted.” from the URL  in the address bar.

Created by a mysterious ‘Dr. Wicked’ as an ingenious way to force writers to write, it offers various punishments if writers do not achieve certain word counts or even if they stop typing at all.

There are three levels as explained on the website itself:

• Gentle Mode: A certain amount of time after you stop writing, a box will pop up, gently reminding you to continue writing.
• Normal Mode: If you persistently avoid writing, you will be played a most unpleasant sound. The sound will stop if and only if you continue to write.
• Kamikaze Mode: Keep Writing or Your Work Will Unwrite Itself

You set yourself a word goal, a time goal, what the consequences will be and a grace period for when you stop writing.

Once your ‘grace period’ is up, the screen around the text tool slowly turns a deep red that, for whatever psychological reason you can cook up, works as a surprisingly effective warning. If you’re on a stricter mode, awful music will blare which makes you even keener to get back to typing.

Terrifyingly, Write or Die only gives you one chance to ‘pause’. Woe betide the student who gulps down too much Red Bull or really has to get another round of toast from the kitchen – you’re stuck there.

The timer and word count meter at the bottom of the text box are particularly satisfying additions. Instead of constantly having to snatch ever more depressing glances at your watch, you can’t escape seeing how much time you are spending.

Warning: do remember to copy and paste any work you get done into a Word or Google Drive doc as it won’t save it for you!

For those that don’t mind paying for essay productivity, there is a desktop version that offers a wider range of warning options, interfaces and stats. It is also has a great option to ‘battle’ with a friend in a Word War, cutting out the usual obnoxious comparing of word counts and channelling your desire to one-up your friends into speed-writing the best essay ever.

So, go on then – what are you doing still reading this? You’ve got an essay to write!

Olivia Luder, Online Editor

 Are you struggling to write your essay? Did writeordie.com help? Let Exeposé Lifestyle know on Facebook and twitter, or in a comment below.

Review: Killzone Mercenary

Image Credit: imgur.com

Owning a Vita is usually a lesson in frustration.

You know full well that you hold the most powerful handheld ever between your palms, the first device capable of delivering console-quality gaming on the go… and you’ve got nothing to play on it.

Your options are particularly limited if you want a First Person Shooter, as so many of today’s gamers do. Resistance: Burning Skies was relatively lifeless and Call of Duty Black Ops: Declassified didn’t deserve the name.

Thankfully, Killzone Mercenary finally delivers on the Vita’s unfulfilled promise – that console-quality FPSs are possible on a handheld.

The premise of Mercenary is exactly that – you play as Arran Danner, a mercenary drifting through the seemingly endless war between the ISA and the Helghast, selling your services to the highest bidder.

Money is the aim of the game, and it saturates your experience, in both the game’s single player and multiplayer modes. Cash amounts are constantly popping up on screen; you earn that dollar for everything from a basic kill to picking up ammo.

Headshots, brutal melee kills and using explosives will all net you more money than filling another torso with lead, so it’s worth varying your playstyle to maximise profit.

The money you earn is omnipresent, and provides the backbone for Mercenary regardless of what you’re doing. It acts as your experience points for ranking up, which unlocks extra slots for different loadouts in multiplayer. It’s also how you unlock new weapons; available simultaneously in single player and multiplayer from a dubious arms dealer named Blackjack, there’s a fairly standard selection of snipers, SMGs and rocket launchers available.

Image Credit: media.edge-online.com

Those used to the huge level of customisation available in CoD and Battlefield will be slightly disappointed, as certain weapons are fixed with silencers and red dot sights, with no option to customise them.

Of course, it wouldn’t matter what sort of gun you were wielding if the controls weren’t up to scratch. Getting used to the frenetic action of a FPS on a small screen and smaller analogue sticks will take a slight adjustment period, but the option to change sensitivity settings certainly speed up the process.

Aiming and shooting both feel responsive, to the point where you’ll never be cursing the controls for a missed shot.

The main sore point with the control scheme is a side effect of the Vita not having as many buttons as a Dualshock. Pressing Circle whilst still makes you crouch, whereas pressing it whilst moving makes you sprint… this is understandably a bit fiddly, and occasionally you’ll sprint into cover and get shot to pieces rather than crouching behind it.

The tight gameplay is displayed adequately during the game’s short campaign. There aren’t quite as many set-pieces as a modern FPS fan might expect, but missions are fun and well-designed. It never feels too repetitive despite the majority of environments being fairly enclosed due to the Vita’s small screen, and the story of your money-loving band or mercenaries is well-told with some solid voice acting.

Image Credit: vg247.com

The campaign is brief, but the online offering should last you weeks. With three modes across six maps all supporting up to eight players, the online multiplayer is robust, and arguably the best of its kind on a handheld. The action is fast and the framerate remains smooth throughout, with the majority of connectivity issues solved by a heft Day One patch.

The pick of the online modes is Killzone’s staple offering Warzone, in which players compete over a shifting set of objectives on one map. Though a game will take you a good 20 mins, over that time you’ll kill people to collect their Valour cards, hack terminals that fall from the sky offering powerful, Killstreak-esque bonuses, wound players and interrogate them for information, and finally go all out and rack up the kills at the end of the round.

It’s entertaining and unpredictable, with the most kills rarely meaning the most points.

On top of Warzone, Valour cards are extra online incentives. Each day, you are assigned a card based on your performance the last time you played the game. It can go down as well as up, so you’ll need to play consistently well to maintain your rating as an Ace. Every time you kill an opponent online they drop their Valour card, and the challenge of collecting a deck of 52 should keep you playing that little while longer.

Image Credit: videogamer.com

Killzone Mercenary isn’t perfect, by any means, but it is nonetheless a statement of intent for the Vita.

For a handheld game it’s a graphical marvel, and its online multiplayer is both fun and incentivised enough to keep you playing. What you’ll remember from playing it though, is something far more simple – it just works. You’re playing a bona fide First Person Shooter on something you can take on the bus – or into the lecture theatre, if you’re a carefree first year.

Mercenary proves that not only is console-quality gaming possible on the go, but playing a proper FPS is as well. And that’s quite a big deal.

4.5/5

Jon Jenner, Exeposé Editor

When Procrastination Meets Dissertation

In the wake of handing in final projects, David Johnson tells us how he successfully put off work for as long as possible…

‘Procrastination’: truly the buzz-word of thousands of students’ engagement with essays. On any given day of the holiday’s one only needs to browse their Facebook news-feed to discover dozens of status updates detailing innovative modes of wasting time, through whatever means necessary in order to avoid working on essays.

The recent Easter break was no exception; in fact it was even more of an issue than usual, because these weren’t just typical run-of-the-mill essays, they were dissertations, thus requiring more time, more research and more effort than a typical essay. It seems only fitting that they also require more procrastination.

I had backed myself into something of a corner when it came to writing my own dissertation, because I was determined to enjoy half of my Easter break as I would any holiday, and also to finish writing it before returning to uni. This meant that I had two weeks to write the whole thing.

Ultimately I was successful in this endeavour, but I would have to say that on balance more time was spent tip-toeing around putting in solid hours of work. Essentially, I would occasionally take a moment out of valuable procrastination time to work on the dissertation.

Image Credit: geekwire.com

Having spent the last three years mastering the art of procrastination, I was determined to feel that my cunningly wasted time wouldn’t feel like a waste in retrospect. Therefore I was creative with my chosen activities.

First of all, I borrowed my sister’s DVD of the first season of The Walking Dead, which I got through in less than a day; there were only six episodes after all! I immediately borrowed the second season, which provided a much greater challenge at 13 episodes long, killing twice the time the first season had. Then, out of determination to avoid any spoilers, I sought out the third season (16 episodes this time!) and made my way through that. At the back of my mind there were occasional thoughts of something important that I really had to get done.

Having caught up on The Walking Dead, I also had my favourite TV series to think about, which just so happened to start its third season during the break. I’m referring to Game of Thrones (you may have heard of it…) for which I decided to write a weekly blog for each episode. At least I was getting some writing done!

There is only so much time that can be dedicated to television, and so I expanded my creative horizons into music. I am a songwriter, and have been working on my abilities throughout my degree. All of my songs have been written on a guitar, but because this was a special occasion I decided to convert a song I had written to the piano. I am not a pianist by any stretch of the imagination, but I know enough basic notes to create simple tunes. It didn’t take too long to convert my song to a different instrument, but I took time out of every day to practice it.

In spite of all these delays I managed to get my dissertation finished, in fact I handed it in a week early to avoid all of the stress of printer malfunctions, computers freezing and losing all of my work, or lengthy queues at the hand-in desk. Ironically despite wasting so much time, I ended up with nearly a week of free time on my hands at the end of it all!

David Johnson

Check out David’s blog for more of his insights here: http://davidjohnsonreviews.blogspot.co.uk/

How are you procrastinating? Let us know in the comments below!

Revision vs Procrastination

Ben Gilbert, Online Lifestyle editor, levels the playing field and shows that revision and procrastination don’t have to fight dirty.

 
It’s that time of year – exams. ‘Oh God!’ I hear you cry! No? Just me then. Regardless, one word will be popping up again and again. Revision. It’s hard, and no one likes it, but here are five ways to make your revision go a little more smoothly.

Image Credit: dailydoodleproject.com

5 TIPS FOR REVISION

Play some classical music
There is just something about playing classical music that calms me and helps me focus a bit more when I’m doing my work. But then, perhaps it is not the same for you – you may even find that heavy metal does the trick. Whatever your taste, if there’s a track that helps you focus, play it loud and proud!

Find a place where you can work
Again, this can differ for different people. I know a couple of people who love revising in small groups. I like that too – especially when you can bounce ideas around, but otherwise find somewhere that you can be free to work without distraction.

Turn off your phone
Speaking of distractions, my phone and Facebook are killers. Every time I want to revise, one of them calls out to me. So turn your phone off. Log out of Facebook. Maybe even get someone to change your Facebook password, if that helps!

Choose your sustenance wisely
Whatever helps keep you on the ball, eat that. Need that caffeine fix? Don’t skip it. If it helps, abuse it. No need to get ridiculously unhealthy about it, but if you crave a sugar rush to motivate you, then have it. And if you want to go catch a salmon and nibble on that, that’s okay too.

Incentive!
I once saw someone open a text book and place a Jelly Baby at the end of each paragraph – finish reading the paragraph, reward yourself with a sugar-filled edible baby. Couldn’t be simpler. I even saw this done with shots, but that may not help you revise really.

 
But let’s face it, with every planned revision session, procrastination ultimately rears its ugly head. But do not fear it – it could be healthy! After eight straight hours with your face in a book, maybe some time off is just what you need.

5 WAYS TO PROCRASTINATE

What’s that? Sunlight?
Yes, it is now the summer term, and with any luck that sunlight streaming through the window will actually stick around for beyond exams too. There’s no telling though, so drop what you are doing right now and run outside! And after you are tired of that, maybe you could even take your revision outside too?

Go for a run
It isn’t to everyone’s taste, but sometimes going for a run, or going to the gym can be just the right thing to take your mind off everything that is stressful at the moment.
And never mind the scientific proof of endorphin release… I just find it fun.

Oh, there’s a new Game of Thrones episode
Television is your friend, albeit the friend who wants to go to Arena all night before a 9am lecture. And thanks to the magic of the internet, you can catch up on almost every TV programme under the sun! Be careful though – it is easy to lose days to an entire series …

Try something new
Last week, I decided to learn how to play Peter Griffin’s fabled ‘Iraq Lobster’ on guitar as a way of distracting myself from work. I’m not saying you have to do the same, but why not try something new and exciting when you have a break from your revision schedule? There’s a LOT of things going on at university that has your name right on it!

Clean
Time and again, I hear about how everyone’s room’s become miraculously spotless during revision and essay periods. Even people who normally can’t be found underneath their dirty clothes. I always assumed someone was stealing into people’s houses and tidying without them knowing. Then again, maybe it is just another way to procrastinate. You decide.

Ben Gilbert, Online Lifestyle Editor

Website of the week – satirical site

Returning the Screw

Just in case you didn’t have enough material to use as a procrastination tool, from now on we will publish ‘Website of the week’. Whether it be satirical, cute or downright silly, send us a link and we’ll see if we can make your favourite site the new site to read on campus.

This week’s site is Cracked.

A satirical site with hours of wonderfully useless facts and videos. Knock yourselves out.

(Don’t forget to use the comment box below!)

Natasha Baker 

(note that Exepose Online cannot be held responsible for content on external websites as they are beyond our control. At the time of going to edit there was no content on the website deeemed to be unacceptable by the Online Moderator)