Undoubtedly university is one of the best opportunities people can get at meeting new people. It is full of people from all walks of life, all backgrounds, different interests and different beliefs. It is also one of the easiest environments to meet people. Everyone converging on one location all in the same situation, wanting to make new friends and so naturally it takes much less effort to meet new people especially if you are in first year.
Even for second and third years, there are a wealth of opportunities to meet new people through societies and clubs. However, even when surrounded by all these different people all of the time, all of us will feel lonely at some point. It’s the strangest kind of loneliness because it is hard to explain and hard to describe but nevertheless it is there.
For me, university has been one of the best things to happen to me. It has given me confidence in myself, it has given me some incredible friends, helped me discover interests I didn’t know I had and allowed my old interests a chance to flourish. Despite this, there have been moments of feeling very isolated for all sorts of reasons, be they relationships, friendships, work or any of the other massive stresses university life puts on people.
University, for most people, is their first real taste of independence and being in control of oneself. It is exciting, yet terrifying. So when things go wrong, it is so easy just to blame yourself and isolate yourself which is when the loneliness kicks in. Then when people ask what’s wrong and the answer is “I feel lonely”, it can be difficult to explain. These pressures can become so overwhelming that it is easy to get swallowed up in them. Sometimes they can be dealt with and other times you may just want to hide away. It’s not a feeling that can be ignored, because it can spread and consume even more of your life.
So how do you deal with a feeling that is so difficult to explain? It is tough, but everyone goes through it at some point; everyone will feel either lonely or homesick in some way whilst they are university. This means they can sympathise, and so it’s best just to explain as much as is possible and talk it out, no matter how ridiculous or unfounded the feelings may seem. There are multitudes of reasons why people can feel lonely outside of the obvious ones of relationships and friends. A person can have all the friends in the world, but still feel like something is missing.
Talking about it helps to identify what it is that is missing, or at the very least it can be cathartic and release some of the pent-up stress. Smaller, simpler ways can also be found. Sometimes, it is the little things that make the difference: going for a run, watching a film, listening to music or pretty much anything you enjoy. Talking may not always help for some people; instead, it is better just to be distracted by interests and even work (if that is not the source of the problem). The best healer of all is time – be distracted for a few days and spend time with people, and eventually it will go away or calm down.
If this is not the case, then the university has a massive array of support that goes beyond loneliness and can help with more serious cases. This is university, the best time to meet people, and an experience that should not be regretted.
For more information on support the university offers click on the link below:
Dealing with Mental Illness at University
Alex Phelps
Online Games Editor
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