Tag Archives: sexy

Exeposé Screen's Top Four Sexiest Countryfile Clips

A stalwart of the BBC’s Sunday night schedule, Countryfile has engrossed viewers with lingering, sensual shots of rural pastures and lush landscapes for many years. We recognise that students simply don’t have time to sift through the titillating Countryfile archives at this busy time of year, so Exeposé Screen has done the job for you…  

Image credit: BBC
Image credit: BBC

 

4) A year in the life of a field

Don’t be fooled by the title, this clip is shot in time-lapse, which is self-evidently the sexiest technique available to filmmakers. Couple Adam Henson’s gorgeous voiceover with the visuals of firm stalks “growing at a phenomenal rate” and we’ve got some classic racy Countryfile footage.

 

3) Ellie has a seaweed bath

As the caption on the BBC website suggests, presenter Ellie Harrison “deserves a bit of rest and relaxation”. Countrfyile clearly decided that the best way for her to chill out was to have slimey seaweed draped over her body in front of an audience of millions.

Image credit: BBC
Image credit: BBC

To watch this clip, click here.

2) Matt’s Golfing Disaster

Fancy watching Matt Baker’s powerful swing? This next video is definitely for you, then. And it’s funny! Countryfile really does have it all. The clip ends in tragedy as Matt is clearly distraught when he snaps the soundman’s pole…

Image credit: BBC
Image credit: BBC

To watch this clip, click here. It’s not for the faint hearted.

 

1) Ellie Checks Out The Watercress Line

Our top clip features Ellie again, this time fully clothed but still venturing deep into innuendo territory, as she finds out about noisy, smelly signalmen and their plungers.

Image credit: BBC
Image credit: BBC

To watch this clip, click here.

 

Screen Online Editors, 2012-13

 

Superwomen: Empowered and sexy, or made powerless by sexism?

As part of our Comic Week feature we have been reviewing key figures of the comic-book franchise. But we are yet to analyse the role of any superwomen. In answer to this problem, Elizabeth Moore considers the presentation of women within comicbooks. Are they empowered or powerless? Is there a sexist undertone to the highly eroticised images? Do these superwomen present strong role-models? And are their superpowers simply masking a frightening sexualisation?

comicComic book heroes are designed to be idealised versions of humanity: strong, beautiful and perfect, representing all that we could be (you know, minus the superhuman powers). But from a female perspective, this is not neccessarily an image that we should idealise. There are three main issues with the portrayal of heroines in graphic novels: bodies, poses, and costume.

All superheroes have impossible physiques; it’s a part of their fantastical appeal, but the way in which these bodies are gendered proves problematic. For example, Superman’s modern appeal comes from his huge muscles and superhuman strength. However, his female counterpart Superwomen has the focus placed upon her sizable breasts. We have to think why these features are prioritised, and let’s be honest, unless Wonder Woman’s chest holds some sort of super power that I don’t know about, we have a simple case of sexualisation and objectification.

Some of you will be aware of the Hawkeye Initiative, a blog that satirising the characterisation of female heroes by drawing Hawkeye in many of the overly-provocative poses that the superwomen are placed in. Pushing his posterior out, extending his limbs ineffectually, and placing his chest and groin as the central focus of the image, Hawkeye looks ridiculous. Although humorous, the sexualised images of women on comic-book covers arguably show them in poses akin to those of page-three models (see Poison Ivy’s seductive stare, and Catwoman’s handling of a fetishised whip as an example). In fact, when you think about it, the ways in which heroines fight in comics would be fairly powerless, their anatomic integrity sacrificed for the sake of showing more leg, or making their chests more visible. Alright, the male poses aren’t exactly structurally powerful, but at least they retain some dignity within it.

Finally, there’s the costumes, spanning from the skin-tight, low cut suits of the deliberately provocative Catwoman to the exhibitionist ‘boob window’ of Power Girl’s unitard: all superwomen find themselves exposing at least one part of themselves for no discernible reason. Think again to Wonder Woman: yes, she could allegedly deflect bullets with her unbreakable bracelets, but at no point does it say that she is completely invulnerable to weaponry, so in what way is it a good idea to run around with not much more on than armour-plated underwear? Perhaps these images signal sexual empowerment, liberation, and freedom? Looking at the combination of suggestive poses and costume, I think not.

comic1Developed during the same time frame as the “pin-up girl” phenomenon, it’s unsurprising that superwomen have taken on this sensualised iconography; years on, why are we still stuck with the same sexualised imagery? Essentially, the times have changed, but the readership has not. The most recent statistics for DC’s “New 52” series show that only 7% of their readership is female, meaning the sphere is still very much a male one, catering to their ideals. But maybe this isn’t such a bad thing. After all, it is only fantasy, and these characters, no matter how controversial, are memorable. Yes, we could probably do with fewer T&A tributes in female-centred comics, and almost certainly a more realistic spin put on the shapes and costumes of these characters, but what would the appeal of comics be if we sacrificed all their fantastical elements in favour of supposed realism? All that’s needed is a more appropriate balance of fantasy and dignity.

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By Elizabeth Moore

Bad Sex Awards

In 2012 the Literary Review revealed the winners of their Bad Sex Awards. A collection of erotic writings so laughable that they deserved wide-spread recognition for their… services. With Valentines Day on the horizon, Georgina Holland questions their findings and asks what could be sexier than a “perfunctory use of redundant passages”? What indeed…

badsex1At the end of last year, the Literary Review published a crass compendium of the worst sex scenes written in 2012. Maybe even ever. What follows was a collection of awkward, fumbling descriptions of fornication. But I find myself wondering whether the writers at the Literary Review may be somewhat confused – surely these quixotic pronouncements of passion are what every girl (and boy) would love to hear?

The aim of the Bad Sex Awards was simply to expose the “crude, tasteless, often perfunctory use of redundant passages of sexual description”. Quite an undertaking during the year that the 50 Shades of Grey series titillated a generation of 30 and 40-somethings to the tune of at least half a billion dollars*. In turn, E L James has inspired an orgy of erotic writers who have pumped out thousands of romantic bonkbusters that cash in on her success. And oh, what a selection of goodies were found by our good friends at the Literary Review.

badsex3But let’s face it, these writers have a lot to live up to. In many ways James perfected the art of erotica – not an easy feat considering the subject matter that is being (ahem) handled. And it is in their descriptions of these subject southern regions that these writers really come into their own; never before have my eyes been opened to the endless sexy synonyms that can sum up the mystery of the female genitalia. One such lucky lady had her “sex” described as a “near impenetrable forest” adorned with “the most tousled, tangled pubic patch” that our willing protagonist had ever dared to forage. Praise indeed! Another seductress has her nether-regions described as her “cavewoman industriousness” and another has the “Braille of her viscera” fondled throughout. A personal highlight was when one minx seductively led her mate to her much sought-after “Elfin grot”. Blimey. But if these exotic, and somewhat bizarre, copulative comparisons leave you cold, here is something that is sure to get you hot under the collar.

badsex2What the team at the Literary Review have discovered is that there is nothing more sexy, no technique more seductive, and no trope more sumptuous than an anatomically accurate and detailed gynaecological description of the female reproductive organs. That’s right, who can resist sneaking a peak at a passage which dares to describe the “probing” of a “vaginal canal”. And if you fancy something a little bit more explicitly steamy than the image of a “brown seam” descending “from the frenum to roughly bisect the knitting scrotum” is sure to make you shudder. What the Literary Review jurors seem to have misunderstood is that there is nothing more sexy to the average reader than twilight thoughts of frenums, scrotums, and canals.

But we are simple creatures with simple tastes, and a bit of realism goes a long way. Which is why I salute the prevailing honesty and candidness of these erotic writers. We don’t want to think about southern “treasure troves”, “luxuriant mops”, and “resplendent cocks”. Oh no, give me a badsex4bit of basic bonking any day. Why have candlelit romance when you can read of “just a sort of rubbing and prodding each other”. A bit of prodding, that’s what we need. And when that fails, one writer dares to speak the eternal words: “‘Can we swap sides? If you lie on my left, I can use my right hand too.’ And, he thought, you can wank me too.” Who says that romance is dead? This fella is the very image of chivalry and consideration. One talented writer was even able  to navigate the taboo of “severe hand cramp” due to “non-user-friendly positioning” – he says what we are all thinking!

The Bad Sex Awards board at the Literary Review have got it all wrong. These erotic extracts aren’t “crude” or “tasteless”; no, they are celebrations of the beauty and majesty of sexual acts. Can’t they see the sexy side of a bit of “prodding” and “probing”? Don’t they understand the ageless appeal of a bit of “spit and polish”? Does the thought of a woman who is “endomorphically endowed” not send their blood pressure through the roof? Well if these explicit extracts haven’t convinced you of the wealth of titillating talent that our erotic writers have to offer, then this will: a writer who is so akin to the desires of his readers that he can sum up what women want in just nine eternal words: “I spanked her bottom and cranked up the tunes”. Keep cranking writers, safe in the knowledge that we here at Exeposé Books will keep on reading.

 

By Georgina Holland – Exeposé Online Books Editor

 

Quotes taken from http://www.huffingtonpost.com/2012/11/27/bad-sex-aawards_n_2199706.html#slide=1810517

*Figure taken from http://www.businessinsider.com/heres-the-staggering-sum-of-cash-fifty-shades-of-grey-has-grossed-since-it-first-went-on-sale-2012-8