Pretentious Game tells the story of a little blue square that falls in love, and his quest to prove himself. I can’t tell you more than that without a large spoiler warning, which you wouldn’t want, but if there’s a prize for becoming emotionally attached to a square…well, actually, Thomas Was Alone would probably win. But Pretentious would be in the audience. ABG, on the other hand, feels the need to stitch a narrative to each race for no reason. Mario Kart didn’t need a story to explain why beating Bowser and Wario on Rainbow Road would save the Mushroom Kingdom – ABG should take note.
Pretentious: 1
Angry Birds Go!: 0
Gameplay
Pretentious Game’s jump from Flash games to portable gaming really makes use of the touch-screen hardware combined with ironic and punny instructions. While you’re still a lab rat, pushing the right buttons at the right time, it makes you feel more like Brain than Pinky. However, there is one level where the implied instructions have absolutely no bearing on how you beat the level, and being pulled out of the game to look at a walkthrough is never good. ABG wins because the intuitive tilt controls and ease between tilting and drifting make it a really smooth switch for players from handheld racing games, especially in such a gorgeously designed environment (which I suppose is easier to pull off when Rovio is spending more money on looking good than most students pay in University fees.)
Pretentious: 1
Angry Birds Go!: 1
In-App Purchases
For 69p you can buy chapters two and three of Pretentious Game, which actually provides variation of the story rather than just more of the same. The end of Chapter Three is a great example of using the mechanics of the game as a metaphor for character development. For £34.99 in ABG, you can buy a kart. One kart. And it doesn’t tell you the cost of the kart until you’ve put in your account information, so I’m expecting stories of children wiping out their parents’ credit cards on coins and gems (why do birds need gems to build cars?) within the week.
Pretentious: 2
Angry Birds Go!: 1
Can I actually play the game?
Pretentious Game loaded up on my iPhone 4S immediately. Angry Birds Go! crashed five times and wouldn’t let me play until I closed all other apps, turned it off, and turned it back on again.
Gamers, we stand before the ultimate gaming workout machine. Forget about the Kinect and the Wii Fit, because the Trixter is the mister. The biggest sports personalities train with them, and thanks to the £6.5 million investment on the Russell Seal Fitness Centre, now members of the campus gym can also use the Trixter Xdream machines.
How does the Trixter Xdream work? Well, put simple, it is a pressure-sensitive cycling machine which emulates and simulates the experience of riding a bike on an exterior track. It emulates the functions of cycling, breaking, gearing, turning and standing on an on-screen simulation of a track with varying slope and curve angles. Everything you do affects the simulation, and everything that appears on the simulation affects what you do.
When I saw these machines during an induction of the centre, I instinctively had the idea of reviewing them as an Exeposé Games editor. As I approached the idea, I stepped back from it and thought it would be an even better idea to use the Trixter Xdream’s multiplayer capabilities to face a mighty opponent; Matt Bugler, Sport editor.
Hernán (right) and Matt (left) getting ready to take the challenge.
And so it happened. Matt vs. Hernán, Sport vs. Games: the ultimate showdown. The aim? Demonstrate that a gamer and a sportsman have a balanced advantage…or not.
We started by creating our accounts, through which we could input our sex, height and weight to calculate the calories burnt during the races. We thought it would be good to try each of the four tracks, so the winner would be the best out of four.
Before we raced each other, Matt went on saying “I’ve got football after this,” already giving a go at intimidating me. I responded by typing in my details on the Trixter with speed and precision to show off my special abilities; too many high scores that I’ve had to register…(not really, though).
As soon as Chris finished running through the controls, it all kicked off – and how! My virtual representation immediately kicked his head off with his foot when he crashed against a fence, two seconds in the race. The simulation was surprisingly precise, although for 6 grand for one of these bad boys, what can you expect? Instead of the usual effortless turn you might find playing with the Kinect or the Wiimote, in the Trixter you are supposed to really turn that handlebar if you want to get around those sharp bends – which may I say were more than plentiful in all of the tracks we played. The same goes for pedalling and braking – you have to assume that you are actually cycling on the track displayed. It felt really real.
I believe I lost the first race because I relied too much on my gaming experience with racing games, watching out for all the HUD elements, such as the map, the progress bar, and the gear counter. I acted against this habit and played instinctively in the second race, which made me win. I even developed the tactic of standing up on the pedals when turning, which made my turns sharper and made me look cool on the bike (definitely not in a douchey way).
During the third race, I proceeded to show off my extra-experience by placing the camera from third to first person, making it even more realistic. So impressed with the result, I got distracted and fell over countless times, but I managed to regain some terrain, losing to Matt by just a few seconds.
If I won the fourth race, I would equalise the result. I was willing to put every effort into it. For the first part of the race, Matt and I were neck to neck, but I had an ace up my sleeve. I knocked Matt off his bike, which somehow made me turn too much, making me jump out of the track. I managed to get back on the track when I realised I had taken a massive shortcut. I was definitely not cheating, since it was an accident and the Trixter did not complain about it. Leaving Matt far behind, I managed to win the last race, and ending with an overall score of 2-2.
Display showing calories burnt in a set time and distance.
After the last race, we checked the stats and realised that we burnt an impressive 200 calories in less that 20 minutes! We were amazed by the fact that we did not feel that tired whilst we were fighting each other to glory. Nevertheless, as soon as we got off the bikes, we felt the pain, which stopped us from taking one last conclusive race.
I am not sure if I proved the balance in gaming and sports with this challenge, but the hilarity of the experience was beyond what I expected, making it be worth it anyway. Matt was a very good, enthusiastic opponent and definitely made the challenge feel very animated. Maybe next time, we should make the number of races an odd number…
A Sport Editor’s experience:
When a certain Online Games Editor challenged me to a race-off on the Trixter virtual bike, I didn’t really know what to expect. All I knew was that the famous Bugler thighs would take some beating, as my rare gym visits usually end with me dripping with sweat having seen how many kilometres I can cover in an hour.
Post-race stats showing heart rate, speed, cadence and topography.
The Trixter bike is far more advanced than your standard gym bike machine. The handlebars move left and right, there are brakes and 27 gears, and it notices when you stand up on your pedals to create more power on the ascents. After creating a user profile, (which you can use anytime you come back) which takes in your height and weight in order to calculate the calorie burning statistics, I was greeted with the start-up, showing famous athletes including Gareth Bale and Fernando Alonso using the machines.
The single-player experience offers you full details on calories burnt, heart rate, cadence and all the other statistics associated with cycling. However, you also get this all on multiplayer, which is what it’s all about. The two bikes sitting side-by-side are crying out to be used in a race, which is just what Hernán and I did.
There were four different maps ranging from desert to highlands and with varying degrees of difficulty, and as you play more you unlock longer and tougher variations on them. We started on the easiest course, and with some help from the gym instructor Chris, got the race underway. We were both very wobbly at the start, but I began to find my consistency and held on to claim the first win.
The Trixter Xdream handlebar controls.
Everything I’d learnt in that first 5 minutes seemed to vanish in the next race, as I endured a bit of a horror show, blowing an early lead to let Hernán sprint off into the distance. Only at the end did I manage to restore some pride and reduce the gap, showing some promising signs for the next race.
The maps are very hilly, featuring numerous sharp turns and different levels of gradient. It takes time to work your way through a 2 km course, and tactics are just as important as pedal power. Which gear to use on this section? Should I stand up on the pedals on this hill? Should I go faster and break sharply, or consistently swing on the handlebars?
One thing was for certain, the start is important. In the third race I was the epitome of consistency, carefully measuring my attack on Hernán and leading from the front, Sebastian Vettel-esque. Hernán was snapping at my heels throughout, but a flawless performance saw me ride out the stage and win by just 3 seconds.
I led 2-1 going into the final race, but knew that a win was essential to take the overall prize. If the last race was a tactical masterpiece, this one was anything but. A frantic first 500 metres involved us repeatedly overtaking each other and jostling for position in the narrow pathways. Hernán then saw the need to employ some underhand tactics, including taking a big shortcut and knocking me off my bike in order to take the lead. I was rattled by this fierce behaviour and unable to claw my way back; the series ending 2-2.
Overall, it was a very fun experience and I thoroughly recommend this to anyone with a gym pass. The Trixter is definitely more Forza Motorsport than Burnout, and is all the richer for this. I had found my match in competitive spirit in the form of Hernán, and would love to return to take on more challengers.
A special thanks to Chris Belcher, Health and Fitness Manager at the campus Sports Centre, for allowing this to happen.
Hernán Romero, Online Games Editor and Matt Bugler, Online Sport Editor
Narrative
Gameplay
In-App Purchases
exeposedev 